Ordinary Female Led Existence

Today has been quiet. Even with being allowed release (or maybe painfully forced) this last weekend, there is a background growing hum of desire focused on Mistress Laura.

I was reflecting today on how connected I feel to my Wife, by doing things that I would have rejected in my marriage before it became female led.

For example, in the ordinary course of a day, I get up earlier than my Mistress Wife and I make her breakfast to order. While she eats, I made the bed and clean the kitchen. Sometimes I do a bit of vacuuming. Then I get dressed for work. Most days, I chauffeur her to her work on the way to mine. Sometimes she uses the drive to talk, and other times she simply rests. It's her choice and I love being with her either way. After work, I give her footrubs, fetch her drinks, cook, clean and do the laundry.

In my current mindset, I feel good about all of these routines. By taking care of her in this way, making her life easier, showing her my tangible love, I actually feel closer to her. I do not view love as a quid pro quo, "What can I give so I can get something I want?" Rather, I love the feeling of the outpouring of ordinary everyday little things that I get to do for her.

In my pre-FLR mindset, my attitude would have been "Why shouldn't she do these things for me?" or "What am I going to get out of this?" or, at best, an insistence that I could do this type of service some of the time (maybe on special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays), but it's too unreasonable to expect me to always give like this.

I was independent and alone. Now, I feel like I am intertwined with my Wife; interdependent, loved, loving.

Another paradox: I actually love the "unfairness", the unbending and high expectations. I want to do my best to please her and if it involves some work and perhaps even some suffering, so much the better.

Recently, when I am not with my Wife, I actually ache to be with her. I miss her. Not since the early days of dating her have I actually felt that feeling of longing.

Since she is in charge of if, when or how we have sex (or play), I am perpetually teased, perpetually wanting, always chasing my Mistress, wanting to please her.

This is romance; this is an ordinary female led existence.