It's been a couple of months since I have posted. This summer was a very busy time for Mistress Laura and I and between the home improvements, my job, her job, normal social and family obligations, keeping the house clean and doing the cooking, I have not had much time to post.
I realized about a week ago that it's been a few months since Mistress Laura has allowed me to put my cock inside her.
At the same time, she has had me pleasure her to orgasms a few times a week and I have gotten used to not being allowed to come. She says it keeps me focused and hungry to please her and that I get more “naughty” soon after she lets me come. I argue with her a little about this, saying that I can be a perfectly good boy even if she lets me come a few times a week, she just smiles. In the end it doesn't matter, since she owns my cock and it's up to her when or if I come.
In fact, the last time she let me orgasm was about a month ago. The evening started normally enough. Wearing only a red frilly apron, her leather collar and high heel shoes, I had a hot chicken and rice meal on the table set for one and I was kneeling in the kitchen, waiting for her. She smiled and bent down to kiss me, and said “good girl,” before sitting down to enjoy her meal.
She told me to take off the apron and sit comfortably. I remember the kitchen floor was cold against my naked ass. Every once in a while, she fed me a morsel on her fork. When she was done, she put her plate of leftovers on the floor and told me to “finish it without using your hands.”
It's hard to describe what acts like this do to my mindset... I used my mouth and my tongue to clean the plate and I got a bit of rice stuck to my face, which she wiped away with a wet washcloth, then we retired to the living room.
In the living room, she had me set up the TV and give her the remote, then lay on my back at her feet while she watched television. She was sitting in her comfortable overstuffed chair (like a Lazy-Boy reclining chair). She positioned me so that my face was about where her foot would be and told me that my job was to massage her feet and to kiss and lick them. I proceeded to do so.
Touching my Mistress's pretty feet and ankles gets me very hot and bothered and the rising member between my legs attested to this fact. Every once in a while, I heard Mistress chuckle and say, “What a good boy, serving me turns you on.”
After a long time (probably about 30 minutes -- judging by the fact that the sitcom she was watching ended and another show began), she told me, “Since you've been such a good boy tonight, I'm going to let you come by rubbing yourself against my feet. When you make a mess, you'll have to lick my feet clean again. Understand?”
“Yes Mistress.”
She had me position myself with my ass close to her feet and told me to put my feet up so that they were somewhat supported on the arms of the chair; mostly it meant that the back of my calves were leaning against the chair handle in a way that somewhat supported the weight of my legs which were sticking up in the air.
So, from her vantage point, she could look down on my naked body, look into my face, and press her foot down into my shaved cock and balls.
Then, she started to slide her foot up and down the shaft of her engorged toy while looking at my eyes. The tip of my cock was pretty slippery with precum, so soon enough the bottom of her foot was slick and it felt pretty good sliding up and down.
“Such a good little boy,” Mistress Laura cooed while pressing hard into me and sliding her foot up my shaft. “You're going to have to beg to come, my boy.”
Hardly two minutes had passed. “Oh please, Mistress... Please... May I come?”
“You're going to have to lick off your own spooge, you know... Yes, you may!”
I shuddered a long shudder and most of the cum shot up to my belly and Mistress Laura deliberately pushed her foot into the puddle of cum, covering the bottom of her foot with my “spooge” as she called it.
For any submissive men that have not had the experience, the idea of licking your own cum is hot, but in reality, it's just disgusting.
Nevertheless, Mistress held her foot out in front of her and said “Clean me up, bitch.” and I repositioned myself so I was on all fours and licking the bottom of her foot, suppressing my gag reflex while she just chuckled.
Since that time, my usually strong level of arousal at touching Mistress Laura's feet has been even higher. From a psychological point of view, I understand this: She's training me like any pavlovian subject, like a dog, linking pleasure with behaviors that she wants.
That fact, that she is training me to be her toy and to please her and even engineering my reactions and intensifying my fetishes really turns me on.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
New Experience: Overwhelming desire to be hurt
Finally, it happened.
As some of you might know, in an earlier phase of my life, I used to delight in pain. Inflicting pain on (mostly) submissive girls of my acquaintance. I was good at it, too. A remorseless sadist with a sensitive touch; and yet... I never really understood the look of joy and transcendence in the submissive's face.
For the last few weeks, my Mistress wife has been working me hard, expecting perfect obedience and handing out demerits when I have not met her exacting demands. On a weekly basis, she has been punishing me; this is something that I crave but I don't enjoy.
Her punishments are painful and many times not the least bit erotic, and yet, when she hurts me, my cock becomes instantly hard and remains hard throughout the session. Sometimes I almost feel as if the session is a simple chore for her, another technique among many to keep her slaveboy in line. At other times, it's more than that... Or maybe I just fool myself, seeing what I want to see.
Tonight, for the first time ever, I started to feel something beyond the simple pain, and it was made clear to me that this is more than just a chore for her.
As I was leaving work to go home, there was a voicemail message on my cell phone from Mistress Laura:
“Slaveboy, tonight, when you come home, take a quick rinse, put your collar on, set up the cane and the paddle on the bed, kneel and wait for me in the bedroom. I want to settle your demerits tonight. I have a business meeting and will be home about 6:15. Be ready.”
Simple and direct. I drove home, arriving about half an hour before my Mistress, and quickly shaved, brushed my teeth and showered. I put everything in place and knelt by the bed, naked except for her collar, waiting.
When she arrived, she sat on the bed and watched me for what seemed like an eternity. I kept my eyes downcast and waited. Nervous. Finally, she patted the bed, her signal for me to get on the bed on all fours next to her.
“I want you to know something...”
I tensed up. Oh God. Here it comes. I know where this is going. She's going to tell me that she isn't into punishing me or is feeling some weight of obligation. She wants to back off or slow down. She's been very untalkative recently. Oh God. I feel sick in my stomach.
“When I have hurt you the last few times...”
I closed my eyes, feeling a rushing in my ears. I hope this is not going where I think it's going.
“It makes my cunt twitch.”
It feels as if the bottom falls out of my stomach and my head is swimming now. I am suddenly inflamed with the desire to be hurt. I don't say anything, but my breathing becomes ragged.
“I'm a bit afraid of my own feelings. Sometimes I really want to hurt you a lot more than I have... How do you feel about that, my boy?”
“Oh... Please... I want to please you, Mistress.” my cock is painfully erect. “I've never really felt like this before... In this instant, I want you to hurt me.” I manage to say, feeling a deep blush enveloping my face and neck.
Why am I embarrassed? Have I not caused this very state in others? I feel so raw and vulnerable in this instant.
She then stood up and walked around the bed, to look at my face. She cupped my face in her hands and tenderly asked a simple question:
“Are you sure?”
I realized at this point that this was my one chance to back out. If I had a headache or something was going on that I would not be able to withstand the kind of beating she was contemplating, now would be the time to say something. I loved Mistress Laura in that moment in a way that is hard to put into words. She takes good care of me.
“Yes, Mistress.”
She smiled then and slipped off her skirt and panties, then picked up the cane and walked around to my bottom.
“You have three demerits. I'm going to forget about you drawing a card tonight. The multiplier is 20. That means 60 strikes.”
She hit me in groups of 10 strikes. The first two groups were excruciatingly painful. I yelled in pain but I remained on the bed, on all fours. Sweat broke out all over my body and I whimpered. I felt a stinging heat a few times that suddenly washed over my whole body.
After she had delivered fifty strokes with the cane, I was flying high on endorphins. She stopped for a moment...
“I'm going to use this last ten strikes to get myself off... You can't see, but I'm touching myself with my other hand... You're such a good boy...” Mistress cooed.
With each stroke, it felt like my ass was on fire. I shouted with each one. Sometimes she paused for a few seconds and sometimes it seemed as if they were following one after another. I was not keeping track, but I am fairly certain that the last ten strokes stretched out into twenty or thirty strokes.
Towards the end of the beating... “Tell me how it feels, slaveboy.”
“It hurts, Mistress, it hurts a lot, but it also feels good. I'm so confused.”
“Oh... Good boy... I like hurting you....” and the guttural groans told me that my Mistress had orgasmed. My cock twitched and I wanted to ask for her to let me come too, but she cut that thought off...
“Mmmm... That was nice, slaveboy. Just in case you were wondering, I don't feel like making you come tonight. Maybe later in the week. Get off the bed and come here and kiss my feet.”
With my ass stinging, my body covered in sweat, completely overwhelmed with feelings of love, I crawled over to where Mistress Laura stood and lovingly kissed her feet.
I never considered myself a masochist. I'm not so sure now.
As some of you might know, in an earlier phase of my life, I used to delight in pain. Inflicting pain on (mostly) submissive girls of my acquaintance. I was good at it, too. A remorseless sadist with a sensitive touch; and yet... I never really understood the look of joy and transcendence in the submissive's face.
For the last few weeks, my Mistress wife has been working me hard, expecting perfect obedience and handing out demerits when I have not met her exacting demands. On a weekly basis, she has been punishing me; this is something that I crave but I don't enjoy.
Her punishments are painful and many times not the least bit erotic, and yet, when she hurts me, my cock becomes instantly hard and remains hard throughout the session. Sometimes I almost feel as if the session is a simple chore for her, another technique among many to keep her slaveboy in line. At other times, it's more than that... Or maybe I just fool myself, seeing what I want to see.
Tonight, for the first time ever, I started to feel something beyond the simple pain, and it was made clear to me that this is more than just a chore for her.
As I was leaving work to go home, there was a voicemail message on my cell phone from Mistress Laura:
“Slaveboy, tonight, when you come home, take a quick rinse, put your collar on, set up the cane and the paddle on the bed, kneel and wait for me in the bedroom. I want to settle your demerits tonight. I have a business meeting and will be home about 6:15. Be ready.”
Simple and direct. I drove home, arriving about half an hour before my Mistress, and quickly shaved, brushed my teeth and showered. I put everything in place and knelt by the bed, naked except for her collar, waiting.
When she arrived, she sat on the bed and watched me for what seemed like an eternity. I kept my eyes downcast and waited. Nervous. Finally, she patted the bed, her signal for me to get on the bed on all fours next to her.
“I want you to know something...”
I tensed up. Oh God. Here it comes. I know where this is going. She's going to tell me that she isn't into punishing me or is feeling some weight of obligation. She wants to back off or slow down. She's been very untalkative recently. Oh God. I feel sick in my stomach.
“When I have hurt you the last few times...”
I closed my eyes, feeling a rushing in my ears. I hope this is not going where I think it's going.
“It makes my cunt twitch.”
It feels as if the bottom falls out of my stomach and my head is swimming now. I am suddenly inflamed with the desire to be hurt. I don't say anything, but my breathing becomes ragged.
“I'm a bit afraid of my own feelings. Sometimes I really want to hurt you a lot more than I have... How do you feel about that, my boy?”
“Oh... Please... I want to please you, Mistress.” my cock is painfully erect. “I've never really felt like this before... In this instant, I want you to hurt me.” I manage to say, feeling a deep blush enveloping my face and neck.
Why am I embarrassed? Have I not caused this very state in others? I feel so raw and vulnerable in this instant.
She then stood up and walked around the bed, to look at my face. She cupped my face in her hands and tenderly asked a simple question:
“Are you sure?”
I realized at this point that this was my one chance to back out. If I had a headache or something was going on that I would not be able to withstand the kind of beating she was contemplating, now would be the time to say something. I loved Mistress Laura in that moment in a way that is hard to put into words. She takes good care of me.
“Yes, Mistress.”
She smiled then and slipped off her skirt and panties, then picked up the cane and walked around to my bottom.
“You have three demerits. I'm going to forget about you drawing a card tonight. The multiplier is 20. That means 60 strikes.”
She hit me in groups of 10 strikes. The first two groups were excruciatingly painful. I yelled in pain but I remained on the bed, on all fours. Sweat broke out all over my body and I whimpered. I felt a stinging heat a few times that suddenly washed over my whole body.
After she had delivered fifty strokes with the cane, I was flying high on endorphins. She stopped for a moment...
“I'm going to use this last ten strikes to get myself off... You can't see, but I'm touching myself with my other hand... You're such a good boy...” Mistress cooed.
With each stroke, it felt like my ass was on fire. I shouted with each one. Sometimes she paused for a few seconds and sometimes it seemed as if they were following one after another. I was not keeping track, but I am fairly certain that the last ten strokes stretched out into twenty or thirty strokes.
Towards the end of the beating... “Tell me how it feels, slaveboy.”
“It hurts, Mistress, it hurts a lot, but it also feels good. I'm so confused.”
“Oh... Good boy... I like hurting you....” and the guttural groans told me that my Mistress had orgasmed. My cock twitched and I wanted to ask for her to let me come too, but she cut that thought off...
“Mmmm... That was nice, slaveboy. Just in case you were wondering, I don't feel like making you come tonight. Maybe later in the week. Get off the bed and come here and kiss my feet.”
With my ass stinging, my body covered in sweat, completely overwhelmed with feelings of love, I crawled over to where Mistress Laura stood and lovingly kissed her feet.
I never considered myself a masochist. I'm not so sure now.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thoughts about teasing and punishment
I am kneeling in front of the computer right now as I type this, only dressed in my Mistress's collar. She is sleeping in the other room, after ordering me to massage her hands and feet (using lotion) and then to lick her legs, especially behind her knees, while she kept teasing me verbally about all the things she wants to do to me on our next scheduled spanking session. I'm looking forward to Friday evening.
Earlier tonight, after I massaged her and licked her for over an hour, she slipped off her panties, grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into her cunt.
“Lick me, slaveboy,” she ground my nose and face into her furry pussy. A long time ago, she used to shave herself smooth there. Now, I am titillated by her hairiness, especially since it contrasts with her requirement that I remove all my pubic hair. At the time she made that rule, she told me that since it's her cock, she wants to see it naked all the time, that means no clothes for me without her permission and the constant shaving always reminds me that I am her toy.
I licked and licked and she groaned and her scent filled my nose and mouth. My cock was standing at attention the whole time. “Faster. That's good. Good boy...” after a few more minutes, she bucked and made an utterly maddening guttural noise that was sort of a combination shout and moan while the shudder of her orgasm spread out over her whole body.
“Put your cock inside me. Once it's there, just hold me. Don't hump. Don't move. Just fill me.”
I did as my Mistress ordered, sliding my hard cock inside her and then just staying still. Holding her. Pure torture. She slowly drifted off to sleep, then, and just before she actually fell asleep, she told me “You'll sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed tonight. Go and get me a glass of orange juice and pull the covers over me.”
I did as I was told, and after I pulled the covers over her, I decided to write a bit in this blog, to settle myself down and to think by writing. I hope that what I write here makes sense tonight.
Paradoxically, not being allowed to sleep with my Mistress, after the intimacy of massaging her, licking her, giving her an orgasm and even being allowed to be inside her for a few minutes (oh, such a sweet heavenly torture) only makes me want her more. She completely has my number. :-)
As I wrote earlier, I am really looking forward to the next punishment session. They are the only times that I am allowed to orgasm, and then, not every time. The randomness of the reward, linked always to the certainty of pain, keeps me on my best behavior between sessions.
Mistress has managed to train me to hold my orgasms till she gives the command, which means that on occasion she has used me as her live dildo for about ten minutes, orgasming herself around my hard cock, then ordering me to pull out and to start working on cleaning the bathroom. Again, on the occasions that she has done things like that, I am mentally gone, “dropped” into sub-space, completely hers to command. My frustration is completely overpowered by my awe and devotion.
When we first began our relationship, Mistress Laura kept a notebook in which she would record my infractions (not listening, giving her back-talk, not doing something to her specifications) and then she would administer a weekly spanking, meting out whatever she decided for each bad behavior.
After a few months of this, she changed the system. She told me that she was tired of the book-keeping and would now be giving out “demerits” and that I would need to keep track of how many demerits I had between spanking sessions. Then, on Friday nights, I was required to lay out all her implements of torture (spanking paddle, whips, canes, clothes pins) and kneel next to the bed till she came into the bedroom. She would then decide how many swats each “demerit” was worth and would give me the punishment accordingly.
It hurts to be punished. I'm not really a pain slut, but I have found that I actually crave being hurt by her now... I don't really want to be hurt by anybody else, but for her, especially when that look of lust and pleasure crosses her face, I want her to beat me till there are welts on my ass that I can feel for a week afterwards...
A recent piece that Mistress Laura added to the punishment sessions: the introduction of chance. She now has me keep track of the number of demerits, then, before starting the punishment, she has me cut a deck of cards and pick a card. That card represents the number of swats per demerit that I will get. Her rules are that Jokers are wild (meaning she gets to decide what they represent) and the Jacks are 11, Kings are 12 and Queens are worth 13.
As of today, I have earned 7 demerits. The last few were kind of stupid of me. I argued with my Mistress when I should not have and I will pay for it, I am certain.
I hope I pull a nice high numbered card on Friday. :-)
Earlier tonight, after I massaged her and licked her for over an hour, she slipped off her panties, grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into her cunt.
“Lick me, slaveboy,” she ground my nose and face into her furry pussy. A long time ago, she used to shave herself smooth there. Now, I am titillated by her hairiness, especially since it contrasts with her requirement that I remove all my pubic hair. At the time she made that rule, she told me that since it's her cock, she wants to see it naked all the time, that means no clothes for me without her permission and the constant shaving always reminds me that I am her toy.
I licked and licked and she groaned and her scent filled my nose and mouth. My cock was standing at attention the whole time. “Faster. That's good. Good boy...” after a few more minutes, she bucked and made an utterly maddening guttural noise that was sort of a combination shout and moan while the shudder of her orgasm spread out over her whole body.
“Put your cock inside me. Once it's there, just hold me. Don't hump. Don't move. Just fill me.”
I did as my Mistress ordered, sliding my hard cock inside her and then just staying still. Holding her. Pure torture. She slowly drifted off to sleep, then, and just before she actually fell asleep, she told me “You'll sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed tonight. Go and get me a glass of orange juice and pull the covers over me.”
I did as I was told, and after I pulled the covers over her, I decided to write a bit in this blog, to settle myself down and to think by writing. I hope that what I write here makes sense tonight.
Paradoxically, not being allowed to sleep with my Mistress, after the intimacy of massaging her, licking her, giving her an orgasm and even being allowed to be inside her for a few minutes (oh, such a sweet heavenly torture) only makes me want her more. She completely has my number. :-)
As I wrote earlier, I am really looking forward to the next punishment session. They are the only times that I am allowed to orgasm, and then, not every time. The randomness of the reward, linked always to the certainty of pain, keeps me on my best behavior between sessions.
Mistress has managed to train me to hold my orgasms till she gives the command, which means that on occasion she has used me as her live dildo for about ten minutes, orgasming herself around my hard cock, then ordering me to pull out and to start working on cleaning the bathroom. Again, on the occasions that she has done things like that, I am mentally gone, “dropped” into sub-space, completely hers to command. My frustration is completely overpowered by my awe and devotion.
When we first began our relationship, Mistress Laura kept a notebook in which she would record my infractions (not listening, giving her back-talk, not doing something to her specifications) and then she would administer a weekly spanking, meting out whatever she decided for each bad behavior.
After a few months of this, she changed the system. She told me that she was tired of the book-keeping and would now be giving out “demerits” and that I would need to keep track of how many demerits I had between spanking sessions. Then, on Friday nights, I was required to lay out all her implements of torture (spanking paddle, whips, canes, clothes pins) and kneel next to the bed till she came into the bedroom. She would then decide how many swats each “demerit” was worth and would give me the punishment accordingly.
It hurts to be punished. I'm not really a pain slut, but I have found that I actually crave being hurt by her now... I don't really want to be hurt by anybody else, but for her, especially when that look of lust and pleasure crosses her face, I want her to beat me till there are welts on my ass that I can feel for a week afterwards...
A recent piece that Mistress Laura added to the punishment sessions: the introduction of chance. She now has me keep track of the number of demerits, then, before starting the punishment, she has me cut a deck of cards and pick a card. That card represents the number of swats per demerit that I will get. Her rules are that Jokers are wild (meaning she gets to decide what they represent) and the Jacks are 11, Kings are 12 and Queens are worth 13.
As of today, I have earned 7 demerits. The last few were kind of stupid of me. I argued with my Mistress when I should not have and I will pay for it, I am certain.
I hope I pull a nice high numbered card on Friday. :-)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Musings on ownership and permanent markings
My Mistress has a rule for me that is deliciously lopsided.
I am required to wear my wedding ring while she will almost never wears hers. It's one of the ways that she reminds me that I am owned and that she is the boss. This morning, in the hustle and bustle of getting ready to chauffeur her to work on the way to my own job, I forgot to put her ring on.
Later in the day, when we were driving back home, she noticed that I was not wearing my “man collar” as she likes to call it. She teased me by saying in a mock exasperated voice “What, do you think you are a free boy now? Where is my ring, slaveboy? How can you forget to put your little man-collar on?”
Her teasing has the effect of going straight to my emotions and my loins. I was thrilled to be teased, at the same time as being embarrassed. Frankly, the worst thing in the world would have been if she had not noticed it or did not comment on it. I was not trying to be bad in any way, but once I noticed that I was not wearing the ring, I wanted her to notice it and control me and the situation. Does that make any sense?
In any case, the conversation meandered and at one point Mistress Laura says to me:
“You know... In about a year, if you are still my slaveboy, which I don't see why you wouldn't be... I'm going to put a tattoo on you. I'm not exactly sure what it would be, but I know I'm going to do it. Not this summer, but next summer.”
If I were not driving the car, I would have dropped to me knees and kissed her feet. That proclamation made my stomach drop and my vision get misty for a few seconds. I was happy, but I wasn't quite sure why. My breathing became ragged and she just chuckled.
Now, I reflect on what I was happy about... I hate needles. I don't really like tattoos. But even thinking about my dislikes makes me horny and weak in the knees. I like the fact that she knows that I hate needles and tattoos and she still wants to mark me in that way.
Of course, right now the idea is merely fantasy. Two summers from now is a long time away. But... I remember my Mistress's chuckle and I know that it's more than fantasy.
From my own experiences as the dominant in some relationships in the past, I know that some changes are nurtured slowly. When you want your submissive to do something for you that goes against their natural inclinations, you introduce the idea and link it to pleasing you. You play with it as an idea and tease them with it, and if you are successful at playing with the idea, by the time the actual deed is done, the submissive is practically begging the dominant to have it done.
I can see that starting to happen to me.
I am required to wear my wedding ring while she will almost never wears hers. It's one of the ways that she reminds me that I am owned and that she is the boss. This morning, in the hustle and bustle of getting ready to chauffeur her to work on the way to my own job, I forgot to put her ring on.
Later in the day, when we were driving back home, she noticed that I was not wearing my “man collar” as she likes to call it. She teased me by saying in a mock exasperated voice “What, do you think you are a free boy now? Where is my ring, slaveboy? How can you forget to put your little man-collar on?”
Her teasing has the effect of going straight to my emotions and my loins. I was thrilled to be teased, at the same time as being embarrassed. Frankly, the worst thing in the world would have been if she had not noticed it or did not comment on it. I was not trying to be bad in any way, but once I noticed that I was not wearing the ring, I wanted her to notice it and control me and the situation. Does that make any sense?
In any case, the conversation meandered and at one point Mistress Laura says to me:
“You know... In about a year, if you are still my slaveboy, which I don't see why you wouldn't be... I'm going to put a tattoo on you. I'm not exactly sure what it would be, but I know I'm going to do it. Not this summer, but next summer.”
If I were not driving the car, I would have dropped to me knees and kissed her feet. That proclamation made my stomach drop and my vision get misty for a few seconds. I was happy, but I wasn't quite sure why. My breathing became ragged and she just chuckled.
Now, I reflect on what I was happy about... I hate needles. I don't really like tattoos. But even thinking about my dislikes makes me horny and weak in the knees. I like the fact that she knows that I hate needles and tattoos and she still wants to mark me in that way.
Of course, right now the idea is merely fantasy. Two summers from now is a long time away. But... I remember my Mistress's chuckle and I know that it's more than fantasy.
From my own experiences as the dominant in some relationships in the past, I know that some changes are nurtured slowly. When you want your submissive to do something for you that goes against their natural inclinations, you introduce the idea and link it to pleasing you. You play with it as an idea and tease them with it, and if you are successful at playing with the idea, by the time the actual deed is done, the submissive is practically begging the dominant to have it done.
I can see that starting to happen to me.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Chris Rock on relationships
Oh man!!! This video of Chris Rock talking about relationships had me rolling on the floor in gut busting laughter. It is full of profanity, but I think there is wisdom here for any FemDom relationship. :-)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Making slaveboys squat to poop may be good for their health. :-)
There have been a few times when Mistress has had me go potty outside, in the backyard, squatting naked in the grass.
The interesting thing is that I always felt perfectly comfortable and at peace, doing my business like that.
So, I was using Firefox's StumbleUpon plugin, and I ran into this: Squat, Don't Sit!
Amusing. What do you all think?
Best regards,
Thomas.
The interesting thing is that I always felt perfectly comfortable and at peace, doing my business like that.
So, I was using Firefox's StumbleUpon plugin, and I ran into this: Squat, Don't Sit!
Amusing. What do you all think?
Best regards,
Thomas.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sublime torture
For the last few weeks, my Mistress has ramped up her everyday control of me by doing the following routine. When she is on her way home from work, she calls me on the cell phone.
“My boy, I want dinner ready on the table, with you naked, kneeling in the kitchen when I get home.”
Even though this is a frequent occurrence, I am always excited by kneeling naked for her. She gets home, strokes my head, sometimes leans down and kisses me, and sits down to eat. She always teases me about how eager my neglected cock is. How it looks so smooth and hairless, like a little boy's.
When she has had a few bites, she will let me join her and eat a little bit myself.
If she needs a drink, I get it for her. If she wants a foot rub, she tells me and I am supposed to stop immediately whatever it is I am doing and kneel down next to her to rub her feet.
When she is done with dinner, she will get up and tell me to follow her into her bedroom.
“Kneel there, slaveboy,” she points to the floor, next to her bed.
When I do, I am once again instantly at attention. She giggles at that; no matter how many times she has done this, my cock still springs to a full erection and I feel embarrassed by her laughing.
She will then sit on the edge of the bed, pull off her dress and slip off her panties, lay back and say to me something like: “Time for my little boy to kiss Mommy in her special place. Come on up, boy!”
I then get on the bed, put my face between her legs, and lick and kiss her pussy. The scent of her drives me mad. I know exactly how to kiss her. I know how to use my thumb and fingers to give her pleasure. Each time she has me do this, I get a little bit better and I am perfect at following her directions.
After about ten or fifteen minutes, she will come, often holding my hair and pushing my face into her pussy as she does so.
Then, she slowly gets up and has me lay on my back.
She will often grasp my hard hard cock, which is spewing precum, and smile, looking into my eyes.
“You did a good job, my boy. I suppose you would like a release too?”
“Yes, Mistress, but it's your choice.” at this point, I am panting and could probably orgasm if she just pumped my cock (her property) just a little bit with her hand.
“Yes, it is my choice. Not tonight. I don't want to give you an idea that this had anything to do with your pleasure.”
“Yes, Ma'am.” It's hard to describe, but at these moments, I am simultaneously unhappy for not being allowed any release and ecstatic about her control over me.
“Go clean up the kitchen and go about your housework.”
This routine has been going on now for about a month. I am practically going out of my mind with lust whenever she touches me. At the same time, I am much much quicker to jump whenever she orders me to do something.
Today (Sunday), she has set me the task of vaccuuming the whole house and doing all the laundry while she relaxes. I am so completely enthralled by her, so completely in heat and so completely hers to do with as she wishes.
“My boy, I want dinner ready on the table, with you naked, kneeling in the kitchen when I get home.”
Even though this is a frequent occurrence, I am always excited by kneeling naked for her. She gets home, strokes my head, sometimes leans down and kisses me, and sits down to eat. She always teases me about how eager my neglected cock is. How it looks so smooth and hairless, like a little boy's.
When she has had a few bites, she will let me join her and eat a little bit myself.
If she needs a drink, I get it for her. If she wants a foot rub, she tells me and I am supposed to stop immediately whatever it is I am doing and kneel down next to her to rub her feet.
When she is done with dinner, she will get up and tell me to follow her into her bedroom.
“Kneel there, slaveboy,” she points to the floor, next to her bed.
When I do, I am once again instantly at attention. She giggles at that; no matter how many times she has done this, my cock still springs to a full erection and I feel embarrassed by her laughing.
She will then sit on the edge of the bed, pull off her dress and slip off her panties, lay back and say to me something like: “Time for my little boy to kiss Mommy in her special place. Come on up, boy!”
I then get on the bed, put my face between her legs, and lick and kiss her pussy. The scent of her drives me mad. I know exactly how to kiss her. I know how to use my thumb and fingers to give her pleasure. Each time she has me do this, I get a little bit better and I am perfect at following her directions.
After about ten or fifteen minutes, she will come, often holding my hair and pushing my face into her pussy as she does so.
Then, she slowly gets up and has me lay on my back.
She will often grasp my hard hard cock, which is spewing precum, and smile, looking into my eyes.
“You did a good job, my boy. I suppose you would like a release too?”
“Yes, Mistress, but it's your choice.” at this point, I am panting and could probably orgasm if she just pumped my cock (her property) just a little bit with her hand.
“Yes, it is my choice. Not tonight. I don't want to give you an idea that this had anything to do with your pleasure.”
“Yes, Ma'am.” It's hard to describe, but at these moments, I am simultaneously unhappy for not being allowed any release and ecstatic about her control over me.
“Go clean up the kitchen and go about your housework.”
This routine has been going on now for about a month. I am practically going out of my mind with lust whenever she touches me. At the same time, I am much much quicker to jump whenever she orders me to do something.
Today (Sunday), she has set me the task of vaccuuming the whole house and doing all the laundry while she relaxes. I am so completely enthralled by her, so completely in heat and so completely hers to do with as she wishes.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
It's been a full year, what does my typical day look like?
It's been a year since Mistress Laura and I formalized our relationship.
I am amazed by how fast time has flown by.
I continue to do all the housework (vaccuming, laundry, pet care, etc). My cooking skills have only improved with time and practice. I still occasionally find it hard to say “Yes, Mistress”, but the weekly attitude adjustment sessions and her complete control of my sexual pleasure keep me in check and are constant visceral and quite erotic reminders for me that she is the boss and I am her servant.
A typical day these days for us goes like this:
I wake up around 5:30 AM, slipping out of bed as noiselessly as possible so that Mistress can remain asleep.
Next, I exercise. Every weekday, I do weights followed by varying intensities on the treadmill or elliptical; on the weekends I skip the weights and go for a longer and less intense cardio session (sometimes a run, sometimes a long walk, other times I bike).
After this, I take a quick rinse, dry off, then remain naked till Mistress wants me dressed, except for her leather collar which I wear whenever I am serving her.
Now, I start making breakfast for Mistress Laura. Most of the time, it's something warm (eggs, hash browns, etc). She usually tells me what she wants the night before. When breakfast is ready, I go back to the bedroom and put the plates on the side table and kneel on the floor by the side of the bed. Slowly and gently, I massage Mistress's feet till she wakes up and I serve her breakfast.
While she is eating, we chat. I am usually naked, kneeling or sitting on the floor and she is dressed in her night gown, sitting on the bed. More often than not, my cock is rock hard and my head swims in a mixture of adoration and lust. When she is finished with breakfast, she moves into her office and I make the bed. Sometimes I vaccuum the bedroom (it only takes a few minutes). I clean up the dishes and clean up the breakfast mess in the kitchen.
When it is time for me to go to work (having finished all my morning household chores), I go into her office and kneel behind her. Sometimes she leaves me like that for a few minutes while she keeps typing an email. When she does that, my cock gets even more turgid, since she is objectifying me and making sure I know that what she is doing is more important than paying attention to me. Finally, she turns around and asks me what I want. “May I go to work, Mistress?” Of course she says “Yes” but more often that not, she will tell me to kiss her feet first.
I kiss her feet and I retreat back to Her bedroom and start to get dressed and go to work.
My work day is fairly ordinary. Mistress herself works at a local college. She likes to occasionally keep track of what I am doing by IM. Most days, we talk for a minute or two on the phone during the day to check in. When I am at work, I run my meetings, manage our software projects, and occasionally I get to do some programming. When my work day is done, I happily leave for home.
When I get home, more often than not Mistress is still working. I strip and put on Mistress's collar, then I go around the house and do a little bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and start cooking dinner. When I cook dinner, I am required to wear the apron that Mistress picked out for me. It's red with just a bit of a frilly border. While dinner is cooking, I usually clean out the litter boxes and feed Mistress's dog.
Mistress arrives home to find me kneeling next to the kitchen table. The the dinner that she wanted is ready, the plates are set, and her soda is also set up exactly where she wants it. We greet each other and she lets me sit while we eat and talk.
After dinner, I clean up. Sometimes she sits at the kitchen table and watches and teases me while I clean dishes (I love that!); at other times, she goes back into her office and I go and kneel by her when I am done with cleanup.
Later in the evening, Mistress likes to watch TV. I sit at her feet while she sits in the comfortable easy-chair. I am in charge of the remote controls, but she is in charge of me. ;-)
When we are done with the TV, Mistress sends me ahead to turn down the bed and kneel by the side of the bed, waiting for her. It's usually a bit before midnight at this time. She sits at the edge of the bed and we do our usual ritual: I kiss her feet, then I massage them, putting hand-lotion on her feet. Sometimes she has me give her a backrub till she falls asleep. Sometimes (not often enough for my tastes!) she has me lick and kiss her and give her an orgasm.
This late night ritual only very rarely ends in sexual release for me, but I am ecstatically happy whenever I get to give her pleasure. My release has been linked much more to our weekly spanking and caning sessions and the occasional humiliation play that pushes Mistress's sadistic buttons.
At this point, if she feels like it, which is most of the time, Mistress tells me that I can sleep in the bed with her. Occasionally, she has me sleep on a doggy bed at the foot of the bed.
So, that's my usual routine. I hope you enjoyed this peek into this slaveboy's life.
Best regards,
Thomas.
I am amazed by how fast time has flown by.
I continue to do all the housework (vaccuming, laundry, pet care, etc). My cooking skills have only improved with time and practice. I still occasionally find it hard to say “Yes, Mistress”, but the weekly attitude adjustment sessions and her complete control of my sexual pleasure keep me in check and are constant visceral and quite erotic reminders for me that she is the boss and I am her servant.
A typical day these days for us goes like this:
I wake up around 5:30 AM, slipping out of bed as noiselessly as possible so that Mistress can remain asleep.
Next, I exercise. Every weekday, I do weights followed by varying intensities on the treadmill or elliptical; on the weekends I skip the weights and go for a longer and less intense cardio session (sometimes a run, sometimes a long walk, other times I bike).
After this, I take a quick rinse, dry off, then remain naked till Mistress wants me dressed, except for her leather collar which I wear whenever I am serving her.
Now, I start making breakfast for Mistress Laura. Most of the time, it's something warm (eggs, hash browns, etc). She usually tells me what she wants the night before. When breakfast is ready, I go back to the bedroom and put the plates on the side table and kneel on the floor by the side of the bed. Slowly and gently, I massage Mistress's feet till she wakes up and I serve her breakfast.
While she is eating, we chat. I am usually naked, kneeling or sitting on the floor and she is dressed in her night gown, sitting on the bed. More often than not, my cock is rock hard and my head swims in a mixture of adoration and lust. When she is finished with breakfast, she moves into her office and I make the bed. Sometimes I vaccuum the bedroom (it only takes a few minutes). I clean up the dishes and clean up the breakfast mess in the kitchen.
When it is time for me to go to work (having finished all my morning household chores), I go into her office and kneel behind her. Sometimes she leaves me like that for a few minutes while she keeps typing an email. When she does that, my cock gets even more turgid, since she is objectifying me and making sure I know that what she is doing is more important than paying attention to me. Finally, she turns around and asks me what I want. “May I go to work, Mistress?” Of course she says “Yes” but more often that not, she will tell me to kiss her feet first.
I kiss her feet and I retreat back to Her bedroom and start to get dressed and go to work.
My work day is fairly ordinary. Mistress herself works at a local college. She likes to occasionally keep track of what I am doing by IM. Most days, we talk for a minute or two on the phone during the day to check in. When I am at work, I run my meetings, manage our software projects, and occasionally I get to do some programming. When my work day is done, I happily leave for home.
When I get home, more often than not Mistress is still working. I strip and put on Mistress's collar, then I go around the house and do a little bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and start cooking dinner. When I cook dinner, I am required to wear the apron that Mistress picked out for me. It's red with just a bit of a frilly border. While dinner is cooking, I usually clean out the litter boxes and feed Mistress's dog.
Mistress arrives home to find me kneeling next to the kitchen table. The the dinner that she wanted is ready, the plates are set, and her soda is also set up exactly where she wants it. We greet each other and she lets me sit while we eat and talk.
After dinner, I clean up. Sometimes she sits at the kitchen table and watches and teases me while I clean dishes (I love that!); at other times, she goes back into her office and I go and kneel by her when I am done with cleanup.
Later in the evening, Mistress likes to watch TV. I sit at her feet while she sits in the comfortable easy-chair. I am in charge of the remote controls, but she is in charge of me. ;-)
When we are done with the TV, Mistress sends me ahead to turn down the bed and kneel by the side of the bed, waiting for her. It's usually a bit before midnight at this time. She sits at the edge of the bed and we do our usual ritual: I kiss her feet, then I massage them, putting hand-lotion on her feet. Sometimes she has me give her a backrub till she falls asleep. Sometimes (not often enough for my tastes!) she has me lick and kiss her and give her an orgasm.
This late night ritual only very rarely ends in sexual release for me, but I am ecstatically happy whenever I get to give her pleasure. My release has been linked much more to our weekly spanking and caning sessions and the occasional humiliation play that pushes Mistress's sadistic buttons.
At this point, if she feels like it, which is most of the time, Mistress tells me that I can sleep in the bed with her. Occasionally, she has me sleep on a doggy bed at the foot of the bed.
So, that's my usual routine. I hope you enjoyed this peek into this slaveboy's life.
Best regards,
Thomas.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Whew... I'm back.
It's been a very hectic two months since my last post. Starting today, I'll be starting to write more regularly again. Probably a few short entries a week, then back to my usual daily notes and reflections.
In the last two months, we went through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's.
For me, it was all a blur, since I've been holding down my regular job, doing contracts on the side, increasing my exercise regime, enrolled in college courses, while continuing to serve my Mistress by doing the housework and attending to all her needs.
One of my major accomplishments during this time period where I disappeared from writing on my blog here has been that I went from being slightly overweight (at 175 pounds) to being athletically trim (at 145 pounds) by implementing the strategies that Saratoga pointed me to and sticking to that routine religiously. I have so much more energy now and I need to have that energy, to continue to do all the things I do!
I am now working on having six-pack abs, and it is very much within reach. Mistress really appreciates my newly hard body and I love her attention, of course. :-)
Anyways, I'll write more later.
Best regards,
Thomas.
In the last two months, we went through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's.
For me, it was all a blur, since I've been holding down my regular job, doing contracts on the side, increasing my exercise regime, enrolled in college courses, while continuing to serve my Mistress by doing the housework and attending to all her needs.
One of my major accomplishments during this time period where I disappeared from writing on my blog here has been that I went from being slightly overweight (at 175 pounds) to being athletically trim (at 145 pounds) by implementing the strategies that Saratoga pointed me to and sticking to that routine religiously. I have so much more energy now and I need to have that energy, to continue to do all the things I do!
I am now working on having six-pack abs, and it is very much within reach. Mistress really appreciates my newly hard body and I love her attention, of course. :-)
Anyways, I'll write more later.
Best regards,
Thomas.
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