Nakedness, hairlessness, humiliation and power

I love my Mistress Wife, but I am also completely infatuated and obsessed with her and want to please her desperately. There is a deliberate and continual process of enhancing desire and enforcing powerlessness and subtle and not so subtle humiliation that goes into creating and maintaining my state of mind.

Early in our relationship, when my Mistress Wife took the reins, she set up a few rules:

Nakedness - Whenever we are alone, unless she otherwise specifies, I am to be completely nude. This by itself has a very interesting psychological effect on me. Enforced nudeness is a direct reminder that I have no personal boundaries and that my body is not fully my own.

The first thing I do when I get home from work is to quickly undress and go and find Mistress (usually in her office) and kneel quietly at her feet and wait for her to address me. Sometimes I wait a few minutes while she finishes something else, the whole time aware of the fact that I am here to please her and that it is my proper place to kneel here, naked, while she completes an Email or finishes a phone call. My heart beats fast and my cock comes to full attention most of the time before she even turns around and tells me to kiss her feet.

Smoothness/shaving - I shave everywhere at least twice a day. Once in the morning when I wake up, and once in the afternoon before I head back home. And every time I shave, I remember all the little things that Mistress Laura has told me about shaving my hair off for her.

As I shave my face, I hear her voice in my head, telling me “I want your face and lips to be completely smooth for me. Baby smooth. So if I let you kiss me or lick my pussy, I'm completely enjoying it...”

And when I shave my body, I remember her saying things like “I prefer a boy who is all smooth and soft for me... Even your cock and balls... I want it all smooth, do you understand, my little boy?” And the act of shaving makes me focus on her, and on her pleasure and my cock gets hard sometimes just as I turn on the shaver. A constantly re-inforced Pavlovian response.

In this enforced state of hairlessness, as in the requirement to be nude in her presence, the inequality is part of the thrill. Mistress is almost always clothed. And while requiring that I shave off all my hair, most of the time she has a full covering of hair down there (and I love the smell and look and taste of it when she puts my mouth and tongue to work). She gets to do as she pleases, and I get to do as she commands.

For me, these two standing orders seems to be symbolically about removing barriers and reiterating the notion that what she says about my body is The Law. In fact, recently, she has told me that I may not even get a haircut without her permission.

Humiliation - This one comes in many forms.

Denial and orgasm control is part of it. She often teases me for a few days, using my tongue to give herself an orgasm while denying me a release. She then tells me to beg, making me kiss and lick her feet while begging for release, and more often than not, simply says “No.”

She often has me dress in a frilly apron while doing housework so that she can tease me about being such a good little maid for her. This makes me feel embarrassed and also weak in the knees.

Sexually, it's all been about humiliation lately. Recently she had me lay on the floor, with clothespins on my nipples and balls, while she put a realistic looking dildo in my mouth and told me to “suck that cock, and don't even think about coming till I tell you to, you cock sucker.” as I painfully stroked my very hard cock using a small pair of girl panties. When she finally permit me to come, she took the dildo out of my mouth and made me beg for her to remove the clothespins, which she did, one by one, causing me pain (she tells me my pain makes her cunt twitch), and then finished by ordering me to kiss her feet and telling me to wear the wet little girl panties for the rest of the evening.

Objectively looking at this scene, I should not even be in the least bit aroused by it, but I was very much aroused, by the helplessness, by the fact that I had to wait to be allowed to come, and that even then, even while allowing me a release, she was enjoying inflicting pain on me and that I wanted her to, because it pleased her.

The power imbalance, the helplessness, the lack of boundaries are very much tied into the desperate and insatiable erotic charge and the control that she has on me. I am completely smitten by her.

What do you all think? Especially if you are experienced in FemDom dynamics, what is part of the thrill for you?

P.S. I set up a Twitter account recently. Feel free to follow me.