Friday, March 14, 2008

The everyday rules that keep me focused on my Mistress

Every once in a while, I find it useful to take a step back and observe the little rituals and expectations that almost go unnoticed now through daily usage. These are Mistress's rules of conduct that keep my head in the right place. All of these little interactions and bits of formality have grown organically over the last couple of years.

I have come to the conclusion that these daily transactions are more important in the long run than almost anything else in maintaining the D/s energy in our FemDom lifestyle. I would be interested in hearing from others if they have similar experiences (both from the dominant and submissive perspectives).

When I leave for work, I give Mistress Laura a kiss goodbye on the lips. If I forget to do it on my own, she then prompts me, “Now give me a proper goodbye kiss, slaveboy,” and I kneel and kiss her feet. I admit that I sometimes “forget” on purpose so she can prompt me. :-)

When I return from work, I am expected to get completely naked and kneel in her office without saying a word. She is often in the middle of finishing some paperwork or writing an Email. Sometimes it takes her a few minutes (I think she is slow on purpose) before she turns around and allows me to kiss her feet. Even then, I am not allowed to say anything till she starts talking to me. I actually like the delicious anticipation and the uncomfortable vulnerable silence that underscores my place in the relationship.

When we go out to eat, I always open the doors and I pull out her chair before sitting down. She often orders for both of us. After the food arrives I put servings on her plate and wait. She will often eat a few bites before she nods, telling me that I may serve myself now.

When she takes me to a movie, she will often specify exactly how she wants me to be dressed. Often, it's “business casual,” but sometimes she will have me wear shorts and a t-shirt without any underwear so that she can put her hand on my thighs and be amused by the tent growing in my shorts.

When we watch TV, I am almost always naked and sitting at her feet. Sometimes she will tell me to massage her feet while she watches TV. On rare and blissfull occasions she will have me licking her pussy while she watches TV. All in all, the impression I am left with is that I am here to pleasure her and to make her life easier. Of course, eating her out like that always makes me horny, but she does not seem to care too much about that (which is exactly as I like it, even if I whine from time to time).

She recently bought a bell that she will ring randomly throughout the day. When I hear the bell, no matter what I am doing, I am to come and kneel by her feet so that she can tell me what she wants. When I hear the bell, my stomach does a little flip-flop and I am at her feet as quickly as I am able. Sometimes she will ring the bell when she knows I am in the middle of something that is absorbing my attention just to see me kneel there, then she will just grin and say “Good boy. Go back to what you were doing.” Frustrating, maddening and hot, all at the same time. :-)

I am to address her as “Ma'am” or “My Lady” in public. Her friends (except now for Susan) just think I am being romantic, which I am, but it's more about respect and deference. Another rule of hers is that I may never argue with her in public. We may argue in private, but you will mostly hear me saying things like “Yes Ma'am.” when we are discussing anything in public.

7 comments:

fd said...

i love the bell! She must keep you jumping!

saratoga said...

Thomas-

I would agree with your contentions.

For XM and me, not cohabitating, by virtue of various reasons, the absence of those sorts of natural, daily routines does affect the smooth functioning of our FemDom relationship.

I have believed for some time that consistency is vitally important to keep the submissive focused and in that frame of mind.

Of course things like sickness and business can affect consistency, but if it's the Mistress' lack of consistency, then I think it sends unproductive signals to her male.

-saratoga

Susan's Pet said...

Thomas,

Your little rituals are essential in keeping and building this relationship. I expect that they change and evolve over time, but serve the needs of both of you.

My wife and I have similar rules, for example, I am expected to be in my "natural state", i.e., naked whenever we are alone in the house. Instead of using a bell, which she had done earlier, we now use the "signaling device" which imparts an electrical shock to whatever it is touching for the moment. Of course, we realize that I should not be wearing it when I am in a vulnerable positions, such as while on a scaffold working on my construction project.

Ms Leather N Pearls said...

Hubby now makes the coffee and pours mine ... I don't even know how to use the new coffee maker. I realize this maybe a small chore but it is very real to us & isn't noticeable to the outside world (very important to us).
I too love the bell.

subscribe said...

I think without doubt that small rituals help keep a femdom "spark" going in a relationship. It's very easy to let other things get in the way, and for that aspect of the relationship to drift away.

Little rituals like the ones your describe give that extra spice to the day… :-)

Anonymous said...

please continue yor blog. it is really incredible!

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog, find it a nice read.
I would agree with your assessment. every time we have a period where life simply gets in the way the re-implementation of our little rules leads to a re-development of the power exchange, The great thing though that it then is always deeper and better than before.

Shadowlady