It's been a few weeks since my last post. I did not mean to be away from writing this long, but Mistress has been working me very hard (domestically and sexually) and my schedule has been rather full.
As I mentioned in my previous post, Mistress Laura has had a full complement of housework and spring cleaning for me to accomplish, in addition to my normal house chores (cooking and cleaning) on top of my job and my workout schedule.
Most nights, even though I am tired, Mistress has had me kneel by the bed and kiss and massage her feet. About half the time, she allows this to progress to my kissing and licking her legs, tickling the backs of her knees, maybe even using me to lick and clean her asshole (an activity which I love), and then lick her pussy. She has an orgasm or two and rarely allows me to come.
About a week ago, after she had had a couple of orgasms, I mentioned that it would be be great if she would let me come too.
“Oh really? Be careful what you ask for, slaveboy. I feel like being entertained.”
She handed me a condom and told me to put it on. I was hopeful that this might mean she was considering letting me fuck her. No such luck.
She then reached into her nightstand drawer, pulled out a handful of clothespins and had me kneel by the side of the bed while she attached them to my balls. Three on each sac. The pain was sharp and slowly building.
“Now, my boy, kiss my feet and while you are kissing my feet, you may masturbate. If you don't come in two minutes, you won't be allowed to come at all this time. And you still have to ask permission. I may not give it, but I probably will.”
So, I went down to the ground, my face planted on her feet, my lips kissing her feet and toes, my ass in the air, trying to pump the shaft of my cock with my hand without jostling the clothespins on my balls too much. All the while, Mistress Laura was laughing and making comments like “Nice ass. Those are my balls and I can hurt them if I want, isn't that so, Thomas?”
I don't know if you can imagine my headspace; I am naked, trying to kiss my wife's feet and masturbate, while she laughs and jokes and tells me that I only have a minute left.
I got myself close and started asking “Mistress, may I come please?”
She just remained cruelly silent.
“Oh please, may I come? May I please come? Oh please? Please please please? Oh my Lady, may I please come?”
“Yes my boy. Come for me NOW, but don't be taking any of the clothespins off.”
So I managed to come inside the condom, grunting and saying “Thank you Mistress. Thank you...” over and over.
She then had me clean up and get on the bed and lie down on my back. We then watched some TV while the clothespins were still attached to my balls. If you've never had this experience, what happens after a while is that there is a sort of numbness as the body gets used to the constant pain and you can almost forget that there are clothespins attached to you.
After about twenty minutes, she said “Ready?” she positioned her hand to yank off a few of the clothespins, then leaned down and kissed me on the mouth while she removed the three clothespins attached to my left ball-sac with a swift yanking motion. I screamed in pain in her mouth and tears came to my eyes.
“Good boy. Now one more set, unless you want a break?”
“Oh no Mistress. Please. It's hurting and throbbing now a lot. Please take the rest off, Ma'am.”
She kissed me again and yanked the second set off. This time, I managed not to scream, but tears streamed down my cheeks from the pain. She wiped the tears away, and said “Good boy. Now go rinse off in the shower and come to bed.”
I haven't come since then, and she has come several more times.
The way she let me orgasm that night did nothing to calm down my sexual hunger. I am still constantly horny, and I get an erection whenever she makes me kneel or orders me to do anything.
So, that's the followup. I will write more later.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Going a little bit crazy
It has now been a couple of weeks since Mistress has allowed me to come.
I'm not exactly complaining, but even the least little bit of attention from her causes me to walk around for half an hour with a full on erection.
And yet, almost every other night, she has ordered me to lick her till I feel her pussy muscles clench and her back tighten and the smell and taste of her juices on my face, using me for a mind blowing orgasm.
She tells me that she has a lot of spring cleaning planned and that I will be doing a lot of housework this weekend. Maybe this is just her way of making sure that all my attention and willingness is on doing exactly what she orders me to do this weekend?
I confess, though, that every time she gets herself off and leaves me wanting, even in the midst of my sexual frustration, all I want to do is sink to the floor and kiss her feet, telling her how much I love her and worship her.
I'm not exactly complaining, but even the least little bit of attention from her causes me to walk around for half an hour with a full on erection.
And yet, almost every other night, she has ordered me to lick her till I feel her pussy muscles clench and her back tighten and the smell and taste of her juices on my face, using me for a mind blowing orgasm.
She tells me that she has a lot of spring cleaning planned and that I will be doing a lot of housework this weekend. Maybe this is just her way of making sure that all my attention and willingness is on doing exactly what she orders me to do this weekend?
I confess, though, that every time she gets herself off and leaves me wanting, even in the midst of my sexual frustration, all I want to do is sink to the floor and kiss her feet, telling her how much I love her and worship her.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Unexpected FemDom
This last weekend, on Saturday morning, my Mistress wife had a professional conference that she needed to be at. What this usually means for me is that I get up early to make a small breakfast and then I come back into the bedroom and wake Mistress Laura to serve her.
So, I got up about an hour before Mistress needed to be awake and cooked her an omelet and made some toast, poured some coffee and a small glass of OJ and set it all on the small side table. Then I knelt by the side of the bed and massaged her feet slowly and firmly till she woke up and sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for me to just sit on the carpet.
I sat at her feet while we discussed the logistics of the day and she ate.
After she had eaten, she had me clean up while she showered and got dressed. She told me to dress business casual and that I would be her driver and sweet solicitous husband at the event. We've done this many times in the past where she brings me as her guest and I do things like fetch her tea or water. I sometimes think she just likes showing off her control in public.
When we got there, we sat at round tables to listen to the program (which was about different music teaching techniques).
At various points, Mistress gestured for me to go and fetch her some water or tea. Once, when I came back with her tea with a “Here you go, Ma'am,” I sensed that the attention of one of the women at the table was distinctly on us. This impression was quickly verified when she started talking to us at the next break.
After some pleasantries, this woman, who I will refer to as LF, said point blank to Mistress Laura:
“Some friends of mine and I sometimes have our boys serve us tea. Naked.”
Since Mistress wasn't really expecting that sort of conversation at this seminar, she was at first taken aback. “You're joking, right?”
LF gave a very wide smile “No joke. They do get to wear a bowtie.”
After a pause, Mistress asked “Are they at `full attention?'”
“Some are, yes. If you are interested in bringing him, I can arrange it.”
It turns out that there is a network of dominant women in Northern California who have occasional tea parties served by submissive men who are naked. That is one of my fantasies come true!
After a few hours, we left the event and headed for home. On the drive, Mistress Laura told me that the idea of these tea parties intrigued her and that she might like to attend one. When we got home, she then took me into the bedroom, told me to strip, slid out of her skirt and had me lick her pussy till she came hard, all the while telling me that it might be fun for her to network with other Dominas in the area. Then she came again, this time by her own hand, while I sucked on her breasts.
I got no release. Which, weirdly enough, was very comforting to me. She just said “Good boy. Now go and finish the laundry.”
At this point, it seems totally normal that Mistress should be served all day by me, have a conversation with a new acquaintance about naked male servers at a tea party, then use me to have an orgasm or two and then send me off to do more housework.
So, I got up about an hour before Mistress needed to be awake and cooked her an omelet and made some toast, poured some coffee and a small glass of OJ and set it all on the small side table. Then I knelt by the side of the bed and massaged her feet slowly and firmly till she woke up and sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for me to just sit on the carpet.
I sat at her feet while we discussed the logistics of the day and she ate.
After she had eaten, she had me clean up while she showered and got dressed. She told me to dress business casual and that I would be her driver and sweet solicitous husband at the event. We've done this many times in the past where she brings me as her guest and I do things like fetch her tea or water. I sometimes think she just likes showing off her control in public.
When we got there, we sat at round tables to listen to the program (which was about different music teaching techniques).
At various points, Mistress gestured for me to go and fetch her some water or tea. Once, when I came back with her tea with a “Here you go, Ma'am,” I sensed that the attention of one of the women at the table was distinctly on us. This impression was quickly verified when she started talking to us at the next break.
After some pleasantries, this woman, who I will refer to as LF, said point blank to Mistress Laura:
“Some friends of mine and I sometimes have our boys serve us tea. Naked.”
Since Mistress wasn't really expecting that sort of conversation at this seminar, she was at first taken aback. “You're joking, right?”
LF gave a very wide smile “No joke. They do get to wear a bowtie.”
After a pause, Mistress asked “Are they at `full attention?'”
“Some are, yes. If you are interested in bringing him, I can arrange it.”
It turns out that there is a network of dominant women in Northern California who have occasional tea parties served by submissive men who are naked. That is one of my fantasies come true!
After a few hours, we left the event and headed for home. On the drive, Mistress Laura told me that the idea of these tea parties intrigued her and that she might like to attend one. When we got home, she then took me into the bedroom, told me to strip, slid out of her skirt and had me lick her pussy till she came hard, all the while telling me that it might be fun for her to network with other Dominas in the area. Then she came again, this time by her own hand, while I sucked on her breasts.
I got no release. Which, weirdly enough, was very comforting to me. She just said “Good boy. Now go and finish the laundry.”
At this point, it seems totally normal that Mistress should be served all day by me, have a conversation with a new acquaintance about naked male servers at a tea party, then use me to have an orgasm or two and then send me off to do more housework.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Becoming fit for my Mistress
It's been about a year since my last post.
I weighed 165 pounds then. Now I weigh 140. Because of Mistress Laura.
My body fat percentage was around 25. Today, it's about 9. All due to Mistress Laura.
Here's a recent photo of my body (that she owns).
About a year ago, she ordered me to stop wasting so much time online and start doing one of those extreme home fitness systems (P90X, for those who are curious, but I don't think the specifics of the regimen matters). Some co-worker had raved about it and she had seen the late night infomercials.
So, I got the DVDs, the weights, the pullup bar. I installed the pullup bar and could barely do 3 good pullups.
At first, I hated the execrises. They were extremely difficult. Anyway, I would rather write in my blog or read web sites.
The diet component to the plan was also a bit annoying at first, but not so much that I couldn't stick to it consistently. Still, I had serious doubts about being able to stick to the exercise plan.
Mistress quickly fixed my attitude, however.
For the first few weeks, she would sometimes walk in on me when working out and just watch for a few minutes. Then she would say something like "You are looking better. After you are done, go rinse yourself and go and kneel in the bedroom." When I would finish and rinse off, and kneel as she had ordered, she would walk in and order me to kiss her feet (which would quickly cause my cock to get very hard) and then she would allow me to masturbate, all the while telling me that I was a good boy for sticking with the exercises and working hard. As you can imagine, this had me in a fog, wanting to do for her anything she wanted me to do!
Occasionally, when she would see me slacking off, she would tell me bluntly that if I wanted to have my release and not just a hard spanking, I should step up the effort. That usually caused a quick "Yes Ma'am" and a jolt of adrenaline. :-)
Today, I can do 25 full extension pullups and in one session can do over 400 pushups. My stamina is much much higher than it has ever been and overall I feel about ten years younger.
Everything else has been pretty stable. My work situation has changed; As of a couple of months ago, I'm working for a new company a little closer to home.
Mistress works sometimes out of the home and sometimes in her home office. The distribution of labor is still the same. She controls all the money and has final say on all decisions. Every day when I get home, I get naked and start cooking and cleaning as my Mistress commands.
At least every other night, she lets me lick her till she has an orgasm or two. Very occasionally she lets me fuck her, but most of the time recently I get my release through masturbation while she watches or while she is watching TV and telling me to kiss and lick her feet.
Life is good. I'll be posting a bit more regularly from this point on.
I weighed 165 pounds then. Now I weigh 140. Because of Mistress Laura.
My body fat percentage was around 25. Today, it's about 9. All due to Mistress Laura.
Here's a recent photo of my body (that she owns).
About a year ago, she ordered me to stop wasting so much time online and start doing one of those extreme home fitness systems (P90X, for those who are curious, but I don't think the specifics of the regimen matters). Some co-worker had raved about it and she had seen the late night infomercials.
So, I got the DVDs, the weights, the pullup bar. I installed the pullup bar and could barely do 3 good pullups.
At first, I hated the execrises. They were extremely difficult. Anyway, I would rather write in my blog or read web sites.
The diet component to the plan was also a bit annoying at first, but not so much that I couldn't stick to it consistently. Still, I had serious doubts about being able to stick to the exercise plan.
Mistress quickly fixed my attitude, however.
For the first few weeks, she would sometimes walk in on me when working out and just watch for a few minutes. Then she would say something like "You are looking better. After you are done, go rinse yourself and go and kneel in the bedroom." When I would finish and rinse off, and kneel as she had ordered, she would walk in and order me to kiss her feet (which would quickly cause my cock to get very hard) and then she would allow me to masturbate, all the while telling me that I was a good boy for sticking with the exercises and working hard. As you can imagine, this had me in a fog, wanting to do for her anything she wanted me to do!
Occasionally, when she would see me slacking off, she would tell me bluntly that if I wanted to have my release and not just a hard spanking, I should step up the effort. That usually caused a quick "Yes Ma'am" and a jolt of adrenaline. :-)
Today, I can do 25 full extension pullups and in one session can do over 400 pushups. My stamina is much much higher than it has ever been and overall I feel about ten years younger.
Everything else has been pretty stable. My work situation has changed; As of a couple of months ago, I'm working for a new company a little closer to home.
Mistress works sometimes out of the home and sometimes in her home office. The distribution of labor is still the same. She controls all the money and has final say on all decisions. Every day when I get home, I get naked and start cooking and cleaning as my Mistress commands.
At least every other night, she lets me lick her till she has an orgasm or two. Very occasionally she lets me fuck her, but most of the time recently I get my release through masturbation while she watches or while she is watching TV and telling me to kiss and lick her feet.
Life is good. I'll be posting a bit more regularly from this point on.
Friday, March 14, 2008
The everyday rules that keep me focused on my Mistress
Every once in a while, I find it useful to take a step back and observe the little rituals and expectations that almost go unnoticed now through daily usage. These are Mistress's rules of conduct that keep my head in the right place. All of these little interactions and bits of formality have grown organically over the last couple of years.
I have come to the conclusion that these daily transactions are more important in the long run than almost anything else in maintaining the D/s energy in our FemDom lifestyle. I would be interested in hearing from others if they have similar experiences (both from the dominant and submissive perspectives).
When I leave for work, I give Mistress Laura a kiss goodbye on the lips. If I forget to do it on my own, she then prompts me, “Now give me a proper goodbye kiss, slaveboy,” and I kneel and kiss her feet. I admit that I sometimes “forget” on purpose so she can prompt me. :-)
When I return from work, I am expected to get completely naked and kneel in her office without saying a word. She is often in the middle of finishing some paperwork or writing an Email. Sometimes it takes her a few minutes (I think she is slow on purpose) before she turns around and allows me to kiss her feet. Even then, I am not allowed to say anything till she starts talking to me. I actually like the delicious anticipation and the uncomfortable vulnerable silence that underscores my place in the relationship.
When we go out to eat, I always open the doors and I pull out her chair before sitting down. She often orders for both of us. After the food arrives I put servings on her plate and wait. She will often eat a few bites before she nods, telling me that I may serve myself now.
When she takes me to a movie, she will often specify exactly how she wants me to be dressed. Often, it's “business casual,” but sometimes she will have me wear shorts and a t-shirt without any underwear so that she can put her hand on my thighs and be amused by the tent growing in my shorts.
When we watch TV, I am almost always naked and sitting at her feet. Sometimes she will tell me to massage her feet while she watches TV. On rare and blissfull occasions she will have me licking her pussy while she watches TV. All in all, the impression I am left with is that I am here to pleasure her and to make her life easier. Of course, eating her out like that always makes me horny, but she does not seem to care too much about that (which is exactly as I like it, even if I whine from time to time).
She recently bought a bell that she will ring randomly throughout the day. When I hear the bell, no matter what I am doing, I am to come and kneel by her feet so that she can tell me what she wants. When I hear the bell, my stomach does a little flip-flop and I am at her feet as quickly as I am able. Sometimes she will ring the bell when she knows I am in the middle of something that is absorbing my attention just to see me kneel there, then she will just grin and say “Good boy. Go back to what you were doing.” Frustrating, maddening and hot, all at the same time. :-)
I am to address her as “Ma'am” or “My Lady” in public. Her friends (except now for Susan) just think I am being romantic, which I am, but it's more about respect and deference. Another rule of hers is that I may never argue with her in public. We may argue in private, but you will mostly hear me saying things like “Yes Ma'am.” when we are discussing anything in public.
I have come to the conclusion that these daily transactions are more important in the long run than almost anything else in maintaining the D/s energy in our FemDom lifestyle. I would be interested in hearing from others if they have similar experiences (both from the dominant and submissive perspectives).
When I leave for work, I give Mistress Laura a kiss goodbye on the lips. If I forget to do it on my own, she then prompts me, “Now give me a proper goodbye kiss, slaveboy,” and I kneel and kiss her feet. I admit that I sometimes “forget” on purpose so she can prompt me. :-)
When I return from work, I am expected to get completely naked and kneel in her office without saying a word. She is often in the middle of finishing some paperwork or writing an Email. Sometimes it takes her a few minutes (I think she is slow on purpose) before she turns around and allows me to kiss her feet. Even then, I am not allowed to say anything till she starts talking to me. I actually like the delicious anticipation and the uncomfortable vulnerable silence that underscores my place in the relationship.
When we go out to eat, I always open the doors and I pull out her chair before sitting down. She often orders for both of us. After the food arrives I put servings on her plate and wait. She will often eat a few bites before she nods, telling me that I may serve myself now.
When she takes me to a movie, she will often specify exactly how she wants me to be dressed. Often, it's “business casual,” but sometimes she will have me wear shorts and a t-shirt without any underwear so that she can put her hand on my thighs and be amused by the tent growing in my shorts.
When we watch TV, I am almost always naked and sitting at her feet. Sometimes she will tell me to massage her feet while she watches TV. On rare and blissfull occasions she will have me licking her pussy while she watches TV. All in all, the impression I am left with is that I am here to pleasure her and to make her life easier. Of course, eating her out like that always makes me horny, but she does not seem to care too much about that (which is exactly as I like it, even if I whine from time to time).
She recently bought a bell that she will ring randomly throughout the day. When I hear the bell, no matter what I am doing, I am to come and kneel by her feet so that she can tell me what she wants. When I hear the bell, my stomach does a little flip-flop and I am at her feet as quickly as I am able. Sometimes she will ring the bell when she knows I am in the middle of something that is absorbing my attention just to see me kneel there, then she will just grin and say “Good boy. Go back to what you were doing.” Frustrating, maddening and hot, all at the same time. :-)
I am to address her as “Ma'am” or “My Lady” in public. Her friends (except now for Susan) just think I am being romantic, which I am, but it's more about respect and deference. Another rule of hers is that I may never argue with her in public. We may argue in private, but you will mostly hear me saying things like “Yes Ma'am.” when we are discussing anything in public.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Very much in need of a release
When I got home tonight, Mistress sent me to the video store to get some movies, and we watched “Darjeeling Limited”
Afterwards, she had me shave my face again and meet her in the bedroom.
In the bedroom, she basically instructed me to give her a nice long massage, relaxing her from head to toe. After about 20 minutes, she flipped over onto her back and pushed my face into her furry pussy.
I love the way she smells and tastes and seeing her curly pubic hair turns me on very much. I enthusiastically licked her, following her verbal instructions to the letter (“Slow down. A little higher. Circle round. Uh huh. Good boy...”) and she had a full body tensing orgasm with an accompanying guttural sound that just about drove me nuts.
Then she rolled over and fell asleep.
This is the third night this week that she has used me like this, without any hint of giving me a release. I am very tempted to masturbate, but I won't. I know that when she finally gives me a release, it will be much better than anything I could do by myself.
Goodnight, everyone. Hope your weekend is a good one!
Afterwards, she had me shave my face again and meet her in the bedroom.
In the bedroom, she basically instructed me to give her a nice long massage, relaxing her from head to toe. After about 20 minutes, she flipped over onto her back and pushed my face into her furry pussy.
I love the way she smells and tastes and seeing her curly pubic hair turns me on very much. I enthusiastically licked her, following her verbal instructions to the letter (“Slow down. A little higher. Circle round. Uh huh. Good boy...”) and she had a full body tensing orgasm with an accompanying guttural sound that just about drove me nuts.
Then she rolled over and fell asleep.
This is the third night this week that she has used me like this, without any hint of giving me a release. I am very tempted to masturbate, but I won't. I know that when she finally gives me a release, it will be much better than anything I could do by myself.
Goodnight, everyone. Hope your weekend is a good one!
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thoughts about consent in a fulltime FemDom relationship
The comment made by strongnsubmissive in response to my previous post prompted me to ruminate on the idea of consent.
I have no safeword. My relationship with my Mistress is as lopsided as it can possibly be. She holds all the strings: she controls the money and makes all the rules. My body is hers to use. My will is hers to control.
This is all, of course, my choice.
By some definition of choice.
When she tells me to “Strip, slaveboy, and kiss my feet,” my head swims and I am in an erotic fog. I move quickly to obey, disrobing, the very fact of shedding my clothes enhancing my already existing state of vulnerability and surrender. By the time my lips are on her beautiful feet, my mind is already long gone past any thoughtful consideration of “is this really my choice?” or even “is this appropriate or safe?”
Her control of me is like a drug and I thrive on the fear and the arousal inherent in my ever present surrender. I am addicted to my Mistress.
By my own choice...
By some definition of choice.
This state of surrender and naked vulnerability (even when fully clothed) only exists inside the context of my relationship with my Mistress Wife and not in any other random interaction or relationship. It implies a level of trust that is built on experience.
For example, when I contemplate the same situation with an unknown woman who I somehow know to be dominant, telling me to strip and to kneel at her feet: it is an exciting fantasy but in the reality of the doing, I know that I would be very guarded inside; all of my emotional and mental armor would be fully operational and the act would feel like an empty gesture.
In this context of unconditional surrender, I don't think it is even possible to have a way to have a discussion about what I would like or not like, as equals, apart from the inherent power imbalance that exists. Mistress knows that when I get a whiff of something that pleases her that I will start to move my thinking and my feelings in the direction of trying to please her.
She uses this fact to her advantage and to my miserable delight.
For a relatively minor example: Early on in our relationship, she told me that it turned her on to see me naked, on my hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. Immediately, that statement created in my mind an urge to scrub the kitchen floor. Mistress further used this urge by rationing it. She would have me do a quick cursory sweep of the kitchen floor two or three weekends in a row, and would say something like “And maybe next week, I'll let you scrub the floor, on your hands and knees for me, while I read a book on the couch, where I can watch you. You'll like that.” She has done this so many times now that she can tell me to go and scrub the kitchen floor while she goes shopping at her favorite bookstore, knowing that by the time she returns the floor will be clean and I will also be in a desperate state of arousal, ready to do whatever else will please her.
For a more extreme example: I am by nature a very jealous person. Mistress knows this. However, over the last few months, Mistress Laura has slowly teased me about having sex with a male acquaintance of ours, call him “Bill,” communicating with me very clearly about how much it would turn her on. What does this do to me on the inside? I have a rush of excitement, wanting to please her, wanting to see her excitement, even delighting in the thought of my tortured jealousy and unhappiness... I am still jealous, to be sure, but that is secondary to my need to turn her on, to make her happy.
She sometimes punctuates these... conversations or interactions by having me lie on the ground on my back at her feet, naked, while she presses her foot onto my (her) cock and telling me in detail about all the things she thinks about doing with Bill.
A real life snippet of the kinds of things she says to me while I am under her foot, from my memory: “My miserable jealous little boy... maybe I would make you kneel, at the side of the bed, dressed in your pretty little girl skirt and my collar... So you could see clearly, Bill kissing me and pushing me onto the bed and pushing his cock into me... And I know you would want to taste my juices... Because you know it turns me on... and you would, when I would have you suck Bill's cock so he could get hard again for me. You would do that for me, wouldn't you?”
Later, Mistress Laura tells me that she does not think that she would ever actually do such a thing, but she needs me to understand that she could do it, and that I would really have no choice in the matter.
This state of affairs is my choice, of course.
By some perverse definition of choice.
I have no safeword. My relationship with my Mistress is as lopsided as it can possibly be. She holds all the strings: she controls the money and makes all the rules. My body is hers to use. My will is hers to control.
This is all, of course, my choice.
By some definition of choice.
When she tells me to “Strip, slaveboy, and kiss my feet,” my head swims and I am in an erotic fog. I move quickly to obey, disrobing, the very fact of shedding my clothes enhancing my already existing state of vulnerability and surrender. By the time my lips are on her beautiful feet, my mind is already long gone past any thoughtful consideration of “is this really my choice?” or even “is this appropriate or safe?”
Her control of me is like a drug and I thrive on the fear and the arousal inherent in my ever present surrender. I am addicted to my Mistress.
By my own choice...
By some definition of choice.
This state of surrender and naked vulnerability (even when fully clothed) only exists inside the context of my relationship with my Mistress Wife and not in any other random interaction or relationship. It implies a level of trust that is built on experience.
For example, when I contemplate the same situation with an unknown woman who I somehow know to be dominant, telling me to strip and to kneel at her feet: it is an exciting fantasy but in the reality of the doing, I know that I would be very guarded inside; all of my emotional and mental armor would be fully operational and the act would feel like an empty gesture.
In this context of unconditional surrender, I don't think it is even possible to have a way to have a discussion about what I would like or not like, as equals, apart from the inherent power imbalance that exists. Mistress knows that when I get a whiff of something that pleases her that I will start to move my thinking and my feelings in the direction of trying to please her.
She uses this fact to her advantage and to my miserable delight.
For a relatively minor example: Early on in our relationship, she told me that it turned her on to see me naked, on my hands and knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor. Immediately, that statement created in my mind an urge to scrub the kitchen floor. Mistress further used this urge by rationing it. She would have me do a quick cursory sweep of the kitchen floor two or three weekends in a row, and would say something like “And maybe next week, I'll let you scrub the floor, on your hands and knees for me, while I read a book on the couch, where I can watch you. You'll like that.” She has done this so many times now that she can tell me to go and scrub the kitchen floor while she goes shopping at her favorite bookstore, knowing that by the time she returns the floor will be clean and I will also be in a desperate state of arousal, ready to do whatever else will please her.
For a more extreme example: I am by nature a very jealous person. Mistress knows this. However, over the last few months, Mistress Laura has slowly teased me about having sex with a male acquaintance of ours, call him “Bill,” communicating with me very clearly about how much it would turn her on. What does this do to me on the inside? I have a rush of excitement, wanting to please her, wanting to see her excitement, even delighting in the thought of my tortured jealousy and unhappiness... I am still jealous, to be sure, but that is secondary to my need to turn her on, to make her happy.
She sometimes punctuates these... conversations or interactions by having me lie on the ground on my back at her feet, naked, while she presses her foot onto my (her) cock and telling me in detail about all the things she thinks about doing with Bill.
A real life snippet of the kinds of things she says to me while I am under her foot, from my memory: “My miserable jealous little boy... maybe I would make you kneel, at the side of the bed, dressed in your pretty little girl skirt and my collar... So you could see clearly, Bill kissing me and pushing me onto the bed and pushing his cock into me... And I know you would want to taste my juices... Because you know it turns me on... and you would, when I would have you suck Bill's cock so he could get hard again for me. You would do that for me, wouldn't you?”
Later, Mistress Laura tells me that she does not think that she would ever actually do such a thing, but she needs me to understand that she could do it, and that I would really have no choice in the matter.
This state of affairs is my choice, of course.
By some perverse definition of choice.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Mistress "outed" us to a friend
Since the beginning, Mistress Laura has had some fairly strict privacy boundaries around our relationship, especially as it relates to some of her oldest friends. That all changed a couple of weekends ago.
The upcoming Monday, February 18th, was President's Day, a holiday from my work, so I was going to get to spend almost four straight days at home, starting with Friday night.
Friday night, Mistress told me to get naked and to kneel at her feet while she watched television. I happily did this, at times rubbing her feet and in the process becoming more and more aroused. There's nothing like being made to be naked and vulnerable in front of my fully clothed Mistress to put me in my proper place. In this particular instance, this feeling was enhanced greatly when Mistress told me “Looks like my cock and balls are a bit hairy. I don't like that. Go shave them smooth like a little boy's and come back.”
I did as I was told, shaving off the hairs from my cock and balls and applying nair to get the hair off around my ass and under my balls. About twenty minutes later, I was kneeling at my Mistress's feet again.
“You've been a bit sloppy lately. You used to shave yourself smooth for me every day. Now I think you've let it go to once every few days at times. We're going to stop the sloppiness this weekend.”
“Yes Mistress,” this seemed to me to be the only appropriate response, which I gave. Meanwhile, her shaved and baby-smooth cock was standing at full attention, letting her know how much I love it when she starts laying down the law and being more strict with me.
“Do you have any work that you need to do this weekend? Anything you were planning?”
I thought for a minute and replied that I did not.
“Good. From this point on, you will not check Email without my permission. You will not go outside of the house without my permission. You will not go to the bathroom without checking with me, and unless I tell you otherwise, you are to remain naked in my presence. Do you understand, slaveboy?”
“Yes Ma'am.”
She then had me kiss her feet and then set me to the task of housecleaning, starting with vacuuming and laundry. I kept to her rules all Friday. Saturday was spent cooking and continuing to clean house for my Mistress, mostly naked, except for when I was cooking, when I was told to wear one of Mistress Laura's frilly pink aprons and my high heeled shoes. This combination made for a very visible tent pole in the front. ;-)
When Sunday morning rolled around, Mistress Laura told me that an old female friend of hers was going to be visiting us in the early afternoon and that I should be on my best behavior.
“Yes Mistress,” I told her, serving her breakfast and then sitting at her feet, naked.
About an hour later, having finished the last of the laundry and folded it and put it away, I got dressed and took the the dog for a walk, thinking that Mistress could not possibly be serious about having me completely naked in her presence with her old friend visiting and that my “strict” service was pretty much over for the weekend.
I did the normal 40 or so minute walk and returned home to see an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I took the dog back inside and saw that Mistress Laura was sitting with her friend in the living room.
“Come here, Tom, I want you to meet Susan,” she called to me when she saw that I had returned.
I came over to the couch and shook hands with Susan, a slim woman with curly blond hair who held my gaze with the most inquisitive expression, as if she was about to ask me something. The moment passed without her asking the question, however.
“Glad to meet you.” I said, feeling comfortable.
I noticed that Mistress Laura was looking on with amusement at some private joke and I was suddenly feeling very unsettled.
“Sue and I are college friends. We used to tell each other everything that was going on in our lives,”
She paused, then continued, her tone suddenly changing as she leaned forward and I felt the heat of her intense attention. “Thomas, my boy, I appreciate your taking the dog for a walk, but I did not give you permission to leave the house, did I?”
My cheeks were suddenly hot and I could not look at my Mistress, I shifted my gaze downward and felt really small, embarrassed beyond words, and did not say anything. There was a very awkward moment of silence.
“slaveboy, answer me.”
“No Ma'am. You did not give me permission.”
“And there's another thing. I remember telling you quite clearly that you were to be naked in my presence unless I tell you otherwise. Did I tell you that you could wear clothes just because my friend was visiting? If it was going to be an issue, I would have told you exactly how I wanted you dressed before she got here. Do you think that you can decide these things for yourself?”
I just stood there, dumbly looking down at the ground. The hot feeling in my cheeks extended all the way down my neck and even onto the top of my shoulders. I felt myself sweating as if in fear.
“Take off your clothes now, then kiss my feet, and sit down there.”
Slowly, I undressed, putting my shoes and socks in the corner of the room, then my jeans and t-shirt were neatly folded and joined the pile, and finally my briefs. I knelt at my Mistress's feet, my shaved cock shamelessly at full attention even as my face practically burned with my embarrassment.
“See, just like I told you,” I heard Mistress Laura say as I put my lips on her feet.
“Wow. I thought you were joking. It's real?!?” Susan said. Looking up from the ground for a second, I saw that she was smiling down at me and that made me feel a little bit better. She seemed to be okay with this, but I should have known that, or else Mistress would not have had me do this in front of her.
I sat back down on the ground at Mistress's feet, silent, as she continued conversing with Susan. I don't know how long it was, but about ten, maybe fifteen minutes passed and it seemed to feel normal, my sitting naked at my Mistress's feet even as she talked with her friend. I was her pet, her slave, just another accessory in her life.
A while later, Mistress had me serve tea for her and Susan while wearing my high heels and new “pretty clothes.” (the extra lacey and see through black women's lingerie top she had recently bought for me). That outfit seemed to make Susan smile wide, which made me feel very very small.
After serving tea, Mistress told me to get completely naked again and clean the bathrooms, “and make sure to scrub the inside and the outside of all the toilet bowls.”
“Yes Mistress,” I said, taking off my pretty things and getting the yellow latex gloves and my bucket of cleaning solutions and going off to scrub toilets.
Later, after Susan left, Mistress Laura inspected my work and said that I did a good job but that she needed to teach me a lesson about obeying her orders completely.
She caned me that night (which at this point is more than a week ago) and I still have a couple of stripes across my ass from that caning. After the caning, she let me eat her pussy till she orgasmed, but denied me any release.
Since then, I have been much more attentive and have felt more solidly “owned” by my Mistress.
The upcoming Monday, February 18th, was President's Day, a holiday from my work, so I was going to get to spend almost four straight days at home, starting with Friday night.
Friday night, Mistress told me to get naked and to kneel at her feet while she watched television. I happily did this, at times rubbing her feet and in the process becoming more and more aroused. There's nothing like being made to be naked and vulnerable in front of my fully clothed Mistress to put me in my proper place. In this particular instance, this feeling was enhanced greatly when Mistress told me “Looks like my cock and balls are a bit hairy. I don't like that. Go shave them smooth like a little boy's and come back.”
I did as I was told, shaving off the hairs from my cock and balls and applying nair to get the hair off around my ass and under my balls. About twenty minutes later, I was kneeling at my Mistress's feet again.
“You've been a bit sloppy lately. You used to shave yourself smooth for me every day. Now I think you've let it go to once every few days at times. We're going to stop the sloppiness this weekend.”
“Yes Mistress,” this seemed to me to be the only appropriate response, which I gave. Meanwhile, her shaved and baby-smooth cock was standing at full attention, letting her know how much I love it when she starts laying down the law and being more strict with me.
“Do you have any work that you need to do this weekend? Anything you were planning?”
I thought for a minute and replied that I did not.
“Good. From this point on, you will not check Email without my permission. You will not go outside of the house without my permission. You will not go to the bathroom without checking with me, and unless I tell you otherwise, you are to remain naked in my presence. Do you understand, slaveboy?”
“Yes Ma'am.”
She then had me kiss her feet and then set me to the task of housecleaning, starting with vacuuming and laundry. I kept to her rules all Friday. Saturday was spent cooking and continuing to clean house for my Mistress, mostly naked, except for when I was cooking, when I was told to wear one of Mistress Laura's frilly pink aprons and my high heeled shoes. This combination made for a very visible tent pole in the front. ;-)
When Sunday morning rolled around, Mistress Laura told me that an old female friend of hers was going to be visiting us in the early afternoon and that I should be on my best behavior.
“Yes Mistress,” I told her, serving her breakfast and then sitting at her feet, naked.
About an hour later, having finished the last of the laundry and folded it and put it away, I got dressed and took the the dog for a walk, thinking that Mistress could not possibly be serious about having me completely naked in her presence with her old friend visiting and that my “strict” service was pretty much over for the weekend.
I did the normal 40 or so minute walk and returned home to see an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I took the dog back inside and saw that Mistress Laura was sitting with her friend in the living room.
“Come here, Tom, I want you to meet Susan,” she called to me when she saw that I had returned.
I came over to the couch and shook hands with Susan, a slim woman with curly blond hair who held my gaze with the most inquisitive expression, as if she was about to ask me something. The moment passed without her asking the question, however.
“Glad to meet you.” I said, feeling comfortable.
I noticed that Mistress Laura was looking on with amusement at some private joke and I was suddenly feeling very unsettled.
“Sue and I are college friends. We used to tell each other everything that was going on in our lives,”
She paused, then continued, her tone suddenly changing as she leaned forward and I felt the heat of her intense attention. “Thomas, my boy, I appreciate your taking the dog for a walk, but I did not give you permission to leave the house, did I?”
My cheeks were suddenly hot and I could not look at my Mistress, I shifted my gaze downward and felt really small, embarrassed beyond words, and did not say anything. There was a very awkward moment of silence.
“slaveboy, answer me.”
“No Ma'am. You did not give me permission.”
“And there's another thing. I remember telling you quite clearly that you were to be naked in my presence unless I tell you otherwise. Did I tell you that you could wear clothes just because my friend was visiting? If it was going to be an issue, I would have told you exactly how I wanted you dressed before she got here. Do you think that you can decide these things for yourself?”
I just stood there, dumbly looking down at the ground. The hot feeling in my cheeks extended all the way down my neck and even onto the top of my shoulders. I felt myself sweating as if in fear.
“Take off your clothes now, then kiss my feet, and sit down there.”
Slowly, I undressed, putting my shoes and socks in the corner of the room, then my jeans and t-shirt were neatly folded and joined the pile, and finally my briefs. I knelt at my Mistress's feet, my shaved cock shamelessly at full attention even as my face practically burned with my embarrassment.
“See, just like I told you,” I heard Mistress Laura say as I put my lips on her feet.
“Wow. I thought you were joking. It's real?!?” Susan said. Looking up from the ground for a second, I saw that she was smiling down at me and that made me feel a little bit better. She seemed to be okay with this, but I should have known that, or else Mistress would not have had me do this in front of her.
I sat back down on the ground at Mistress's feet, silent, as she continued conversing with Susan. I don't know how long it was, but about ten, maybe fifteen minutes passed and it seemed to feel normal, my sitting naked at my Mistress's feet even as she talked with her friend. I was her pet, her slave, just another accessory in her life.
A while later, Mistress had me serve tea for her and Susan while wearing my high heels and new “pretty clothes.” (the extra lacey and see through black women's lingerie top she had recently bought for me). That outfit seemed to make Susan smile wide, which made me feel very very small.
After serving tea, Mistress told me to get completely naked again and clean the bathrooms, “and make sure to scrub the inside and the outside of all the toilet bowls.”
“Yes Mistress,” I said, taking off my pretty things and getting the yellow latex gloves and my bucket of cleaning solutions and going off to scrub toilets.
Later, after Susan left, Mistress Laura inspected my work and said that I did a good job but that she needed to teach me a lesson about obeying her orders completely.
She caned me that night (which at this point is more than a week ago) and I still have a couple of stripes across my ass from that caning. After the caning, she let me eat her pussy till she orgasmed, but denied me any release.
Since then, I have been much more attentive and have felt more solidly “owned” by my Mistress.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Once again, I return, on Mistress's command
Hi everyone. It's been a few months since I have written.
In the intervening months, a lot has happened, and nothing has happened.
Mistress Laura and I just got busier and busier, with the pace of life just not seeming to slow down at all.
Most of the parts of our daily routines and rituals remained intact, but for me (and I think for my Mistress too), there was not much enthusiasm. Things had gotten a bit robotic till a couple of weeks ago.
That's when Mistress sat me down and told me that we need to spend more time focusing on our relationship and finding time for me to serve her more again. She asked me about what makes me feel “more connected.” I told her that I felt connected to her and felt most like serving her when I take the time to read and write in in this blog and read about the experiences of other submissive men.
So... as a result of that conversation, now I am here on my Mistress's command. No matter how busy things get, I am to spend a bit of time here, writing and reading, sharing my experiences.
Things have been very busy (work life, mostly) but even so, just writing here calms me down and excites me for some reason. Mistress knows best. :-) :-)
In the intervening months, a lot has happened, and nothing has happened.
Mistress Laura and I just got busier and busier, with the pace of life just not seeming to slow down at all.
Most of the parts of our daily routines and rituals remained intact, but for me (and I think for my Mistress too), there was not much enthusiasm. Things had gotten a bit robotic till a couple of weeks ago.
That's when Mistress sat me down and told me that we need to spend more time focusing on our relationship and finding time for me to serve her more again. She asked me about what makes me feel “more connected.” I told her that I felt connected to her and felt most like serving her when I take the time to read and write in in this blog and read about the experiences of other submissive men.
So... as a result of that conversation, now I am here on my Mistress's command. No matter how busy things get, I am to spend a bit of time here, writing and reading, sharing my experiences.
Things have been very busy (work life, mostly) but even so, just writing here calms me down and excites me for some reason. Mistress knows best. :-) :-)
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
How to intensify a slaveboy's foot fetish.
It's been a couple of months since I have posted. This summer was a very busy time for Mistress Laura and I and between the home improvements, my job, her job, normal social and family obligations, keeping the house clean and doing the cooking, I have not had much time to post.
I realized about a week ago that it's been a few months since Mistress Laura has allowed me to put my cock inside her.
At the same time, she has had me pleasure her to orgasms a few times a week and I have gotten used to not being allowed to come. She says it keeps me focused and hungry to please her and that I get more “naughty” soon after she lets me come. I argue with her a little about this, saying that I can be a perfectly good boy even if she lets me come a few times a week, she just smiles. In the end it doesn't matter, since she owns my cock and it's up to her when or if I come.
In fact, the last time she let me orgasm was about a month ago. The evening started normally enough. Wearing only a red frilly apron, her leather collar and high heel shoes, I had a hot chicken and rice meal on the table set for one and I was kneeling in the kitchen, waiting for her. She smiled and bent down to kiss me, and said “good girl,” before sitting down to enjoy her meal.
She told me to take off the apron and sit comfortably. I remember the kitchen floor was cold against my naked ass. Every once in a while, she fed me a morsel on her fork. When she was done, she put her plate of leftovers on the floor and told me to “finish it without using your hands.”
It's hard to describe what acts like this do to my mindset... I used my mouth and my tongue to clean the plate and I got a bit of rice stuck to my face, which she wiped away with a wet washcloth, then we retired to the living room.
In the living room, she had me set up the TV and give her the remote, then lay on my back at her feet while she watched television. She was sitting in her comfortable overstuffed chair (like a Lazy-Boy reclining chair). She positioned me so that my face was about where her foot would be and told me that my job was to massage her feet and to kiss and lick them. I proceeded to do so.
Touching my Mistress's pretty feet and ankles gets me very hot and bothered and the rising member between my legs attested to this fact. Every once in a while, I heard Mistress chuckle and say, “What a good boy, serving me turns you on.”
After a long time (probably about 30 minutes -- judging by the fact that the sitcom she was watching ended and another show began), she told me, “Since you've been such a good boy tonight, I'm going to let you come by rubbing yourself against my feet. When you make a mess, you'll have to lick my feet clean again. Understand?”
“Yes Mistress.”
She had me position myself with my ass close to her feet and told me to put my feet up so that they were somewhat supported on the arms of the chair; mostly it meant that the back of my calves were leaning against the chair handle in a way that somewhat supported the weight of my legs which were sticking up in the air.
So, from her vantage point, she could look down on my naked body, look into my face, and press her foot down into my shaved cock and balls.
Then, she started to slide her foot up and down the shaft of her engorged toy while looking at my eyes. The tip of my cock was pretty slippery with precum, so soon enough the bottom of her foot was slick and it felt pretty good sliding up and down.
“Such a good little boy,” Mistress Laura cooed while pressing hard into me and sliding her foot up my shaft. “You're going to have to beg to come, my boy.”
Hardly two minutes had passed. “Oh please, Mistress... Please... May I come?”
“You're going to have to lick off your own spooge, you know... Yes, you may!”
I shuddered a long shudder and most of the cum shot up to my belly and Mistress Laura deliberately pushed her foot into the puddle of cum, covering the bottom of her foot with my “spooge” as she called it.
For any submissive men that have not had the experience, the idea of licking your own cum is hot, but in reality, it's just disgusting.
Nevertheless, Mistress held her foot out in front of her and said “Clean me up, bitch.” and I repositioned myself so I was on all fours and licking the bottom of her foot, suppressing my gag reflex while she just chuckled.
Since that time, my usually strong level of arousal at touching Mistress Laura's feet has been even higher. From a psychological point of view, I understand this: She's training me like any pavlovian subject, like a dog, linking pleasure with behaviors that she wants.
That fact, that she is training me to be her toy and to please her and even engineering my reactions and intensifying my fetishes really turns me on.
I realized about a week ago that it's been a few months since Mistress Laura has allowed me to put my cock inside her.
At the same time, she has had me pleasure her to orgasms a few times a week and I have gotten used to not being allowed to come. She says it keeps me focused and hungry to please her and that I get more “naughty” soon after she lets me come. I argue with her a little about this, saying that I can be a perfectly good boy even if she lets me come a few times a week, she just smiles. In the end it doesn't matter, since she owns my cock and it's up to her when or if I come.
In fact, the last time she let me orgasm was about a month ago. The evening started normally enough. Wearing only a red frilly apron, her leather collar and high heel shoes, I had a hot chicken and rice meal on the table set for one and I was kneeling in the kitchen, waiting for her. She smiled and bent down to kiss me, and said “good girl,” before sitting down to enjoy her meal.
She told me to take off the apron and sit comfortably. I remember the kitchen floor was cold against my naked ass. Every once in a while, she fed me a morsel on her fork. When she was done, she put her plate of leftovers on the floor and told me to “finish it without using your hands.”
It's hard to describe what acts like this do to my mindset... I used my mouth and my tongue to clean the plate and I got a bit of rice stuck to my face, which she wiped away with a wet washcloth, then we retired to the living room.
In the living room, she had me set up the TV and give her the remote, then lay on my back at her feet while she watched television. She was sitting in her comfortable overstuffed chair (like a Lazy-Boy reclining chair). She positioned me so that my face was about where her foot would be and told me that my job was to massage her feet and to kiss and lick them. I proceeded to do so.
Touching my Mistress's pretty feet and ankles gets me very hot and bothered and the rising member between my legs attested to this fact. Every once in a while, I heard Mistress chuckle and say, “What a good boy, serving me turns you on.”
After a long time (probably about 30 minutes -- judging by the fact that the sitcom she was watching ended and another show began), she told me, “Since you've been such a good boy tonight, I'm going to let you come by rubbing yourself against my feet. When you make a mess, you'll have to lick my feet clean again. Understand?”
“Yes Mistress.”
She had me position myself with my ass close to her feet and told me to put my feet up so that they were somewhat supported on the arms of the chair; mostly it meant that the back of my calves were leaning against the chair handle in a way that somewhat supported the weight of my legs which were sticking up in the air.
So, from her vantage point, she could look down on my naked body, look into my face, and press her foot down into my shaved cock and balls.
Then, she started to slide her foot up and down the shaft of her engorged toy while looking at my eyes. The tip of my cock was pretty slippery with precum, so soon enough the bottom of her foot was slick and it felt pretty good sliding up and down.
“Such a good little boy,” Mistress Laura cooed while pressing hard into me and sliding her foot up my shaft. “You're going to have to beg to come, my boy.”
Hardly two minutes had passed. “Oh please, Mistress... Please... May I come?”
“You're going to have to lick off your own spooge, you know... Yes, you may!”
I shuddered a long shudder and most of the cum shot up to my belly and Mistress Laura deliberately pushed her foot into the puddle of cum, covering the bottom of her foot with my “spooge” as she called it.
For any submissive men that have not had the experience, the idea of licking your own cum is hot, but in reality, it's just disgusting.
Nevertheless, Mistress held her foot out in front of her and said “Clean me up, bitch.” and I repositioned myself so I was on all fours and licking the bottom of her foot, suppressing my gag reflex while she just chuckled.
Since that time, my usually strong level of arousal at touching Mistress Laura's feet has been even higher. From a psychological point of view, I understand this: She's training me like any pavlovian subject, like a dog, linking pleasure with behaviors that she wants.
That fact, that she is training me to be her toy and to please her and even engineering my reactions and intensifying my fetishes really turns me on.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
New Experience: Overwhelming desire to be hurt
Finally, it happened.
As some of you might know, in an earlier phase of my life, I used to delight in pain. Inflicting pain on (mostly) submissive girls of my acquaintance. I was good at it, too. A remorseless sadist with a sensitive touch; and yet... I never really understood the look of joy and transcendence in the submissive's face.
For the last few weeks, my Mistress wife has been working me hard, expecting perfect obedience and handing out demerits when I have not met her exacting demands. On a weekly basis, she has been punishing me; this is something that I crave but I don't enjoy.
Her punishments are painful and many times not the least bit erotic, and yet, when she hurts me, my cock becomes instantly hard and remains hard throughout the session. Sometimes I almost feel as if the session is a simple chore for her, another technique among many to keep her slaveboy in line. At other times, it's more than that... Or maybe I just fool myself, seeing what I want to see.
Tonight, for the first time ever, I started to feel something beyond the simple pain, and it was made clear to me that this is more than just a chore for her.
As I was leaving work to go home, there was a voicemail message on my cell phone from Mistress Laura:
“Slaveboy, tonight, when you come home, take a quick rinse, put your collar on, set up the cane and the paddle on the bed, kneel and wait for me in the bedroom. I want to settle your demerits tonight. I have a business meeting and will be home about 6:15. Be ready.”
Simple and direct. I drove home, arriving about half an hour before my Mistress, and quickly shaved, brushed my teeth and showered. I put everything in place and knelt by the bed, naked except for her collar, waiting.
When she arrived, she sat on the bed and watched me for what seemed like an eternity. I kept my eyes downcast and waited. Nervous. Finally, she patted the bed, her signal for me to get on the bed on all fours next to her.
“I want you to know something...”
I tensed up. Oh God. Here it comes. I know where this is going. She's going to tell me that she isn't into punishing me or is feeling some weight of obligation. She wants to back off or slow down. She's been very untalkative recently. Oh God. I feel sick in my stomach.
“When I have hurt you the last few times...”
I closed my eyes, feeling a rushing in my ears. I hope this is not going where I think it's going.
“It makes my cunt twitch.”
It feels as if the bottom falls out of my stomach and my head is swimming now. I am suddenly inflamed with the desire to be hurt. I don't say anything, but my breathing becomes ragged.
“I'm a bit afraid of my own feelings. Sometimes I really want to hurt you a lot more than I have... How do you feel about that, my boy?”
“Oh... Please... I want to please you, Mistress.” my cock is painfully erect. “I've never really felt like this before... In this instant, I want you to hurt me.” I manage to say, feeling a deep blush enveloping my face and neck.
Why am I embarrassed? Have I not caused this very state in others? I feel so raw and vulnerable in this instant.
She then stood up and walked around the bed, to look at my face. She cupped my face in her hands and tenderly asked a simple question:
“Are you sure?”
I realized at this point that this was my one chance to back out. If I had a headache or something was going on that I would not be able to withstand the kind of beating she was contemplating, now would be the time to say something. I loved Mistress Laura in that moment in a way that is hard to put into words. She takes good care of me.
“Yes, Mistress.”
She smiled then and slipped off her skirt and panties, then picked up the cane and walked around to my bottom.
“You have three demerits. I'm going to forget about you drawing a card tonight. The multiplier is 20. That means 60 strikes.”
She hit me in groups of 10 strikes. The first two groups were excruciatingly painful. I yelled in pain but I remained on the bed, on all fours. Sweat broke out all over my body and I whimpered. I felt a stinging heat a few times that suddenly washed over my whole body.
After she had delivered fifty strokes with the cane, I was flying high on endorphins. She stopped for a moment...
“I'm going to use this last ten strikes to get myself off... You can't see, but I'm touching myself with my other hand... You're such a good boy...” Mistress cooed.
With each stroke, it felt like my ass was on fire. I shouted with each one. Sometimes she paused for a few seconds and sometimes it seemed as if they were following one after another. I was not keeping track, but I am fairly certain that the last ten strokes stretched out into twenty or thirty strokes.
Towards the end of the beating... “Tell me how it feels, slaveboy.”
“It hurts, Mistress, it hurts a lot, but it also feels good. I'm so confused.”
“Oh... Good boy... I like hurting you....” and the guttural groans told me that my Mistress had orgasmed. My cock twitched and I wanted to ask for her to let me come too, but she cut that thought off...
“Mmmm... That was nice, slaveboy. Just in case you were wondering, I don't feel like making you come tonight. Maybe later in the week. Get off the bed and come here and kiss my feet.”
With my ass stinging, my body covered in sweat, completely overwhelmed with feelings of love, I crawled over to where Mistress Laura stood and lovingly kissed her feet.
I never considered myself a masochist. I'm not so sure now.
As some of you might know, in an earlier phase of my life, I used to delight in pain. Inflicting pain on (mostly) submissive girls of my acquaintance. I was good at it, too. A remorseless sadist with a sensitive touch; and yet... I never really understood the look of joy and transcendence in the submissive's face.
For the last few weeks, my Mistress wife has been working me hard, expecting perfect obedience and handing out demerits when I have not met her exacting demands. On a weekly basis, she has been punishing me; this is something that I crave but I don't enjoy.
Her punishments are painful and many times not the least bit erotic, and yet, when she hurts me, my cock becomes instantly hard and remains hard throughout the session. Sometimes I almost feel as if the session is a simple chore for her, another technique among many to keep her slaveboy in line. At other times, it's more than that... Or maybe I just fool myself, seeing what I want to see.
Tonight, for the first time ever, I started to feel something beyond the simple pain, and it was made clear to me that this is more than just a chore for her.
As I was leaving work to go home, there was a voicemail message on my cell phone from Mistress Laura:
“Slaveboy, tonight, when you come home, take a quick rinse, put your collar on, set up the cane and the paddle on the bed, kneel and wait for me in the bedroom. I want to settle your demerits tonight. I have a business meeting and will be home about 6:15. Be ready.”
Simple and direct. I drove home, arriving about half an hour before my Mistress, and quickly shaved, brushed my teeth and showered. I put everything in place and knelt by the bed, naked except for her collar, waiting.
When she arrived, she sat on the bed and watched me for what seemed like an eternity. I kept my eyes downcast and waited. Nervous. Finally, she patted the bed, her signal for me to get on the bed on all fours next to her.
“I want you to know something...”
I tensed up. Oh God. Here it comes. I know where this is going. She's going to tell me that she isn't into punishing me or is feeling some weight of obligation. She wants to back off or slow down. She's been very untalkative recently. Oh God. I feel sick in my stomach.
“When I have hurt you the last few times...”
I closed my eyes, feeling a rushing in my ears. I hope this is not going where I think it's going.
“It makes my cunt twitch.”
It feels as if the bottom falls out of my stomach and my head is swimming now. I am suddenly inflamed with the desire to be hurt. I don't say anything, but my breathing becomes ragged.
“I'm a bit afraid of my own feelings. Sometimes I really want to hurt you a lot more than I have... How do you feel about that, my boy?”
“Oh... Please... I want to please you, Mistress.” my cock is painfully erect. “I've never really felt like this before... In this instant, I want you to hurt me.” I manage to say, feeling a deep blush enveloping my face and neck.
Why am I embarrassed? Have I not caused this very state in others? I feel so raw and vulnerable in this instant.
She then stood up and walked around the bed, to look at my face. She cupped my face in her hands and tenderly asked a simple question:
“Are you sure?”
I realized at this point that this was my one chance to back out. If I had a headache or something was going on that I would not be able to withstand the kind of beating she was contemplating, now would be the time to say something. I loved Mistress Laura in that moment in a way that is hard to put into words. She takes good care of me.
“Yes, Mistress.”
She smiled then and slipped off her skirt and panties, then picked up the cane and walked around to my bottom.
“You have three demerits. I'm going to forget about you drawing a card tonight. The multiplier is 20. That means 60 strikes.”
She hit me in groups of 10 strikes. The first two groups were excruciatingly painful. I yelled in pain but I remained on the bed, on all fours. Sweat broke out all over my body and I whimpered. I felt a stinging heat a few times that suddenly washed over my whole body.
After she had delivered fifty strokes with the cane, I was flying high on endorphins. She stopped for a moment...
“I'm going to use this last ten strikes to get myself off... You can't see, but I'm touching myself with my other hand... You're such a good boy...” Mistress cooed.
With each stroke, it felt like my ass was on fire. I shouted with each one. Sometimes she paused for a few seconds and sometimes it seemed as if they were following one after another. I was not keeping track, but I am fairly certain that the last ten strokes stretched out into twenty or thirty strokes.
Towards the end of the beating... “Tell me how it feels, slaveboy.”
“It hurts, Mistress, it hurts a lot, but it also feels good. I'm so confused.”
“Oh... Good boy... I like hurting you....” and the guttural groans told me that my Mistress had orgasmed. My cock twitched and I wanted to ask for her to let me come too, but she cut that thought off...
“Mmmm... That was nice, slaveboy. Just in case you were wondering, I don't feel like making you come tonight. Maybe later in the week. Get off the bed and come here and kiss my feet.”
With my ass stinging, my body covered in sweat, completely overwhelmed with feelings of love, I crawled over to where Mistress Laura stood and lovingly kissed her feet.
I never considered myself a masochist. I'm not so sure now.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thoughts about teasing and punishment
I am kneeling in front of the computer right now as I type this, only dressed in my Mistress's collar. She is sleeping in the other room, after ordering me to massage her hands and feet (using lotion) and then to lick her legs, especially behind her knees, while she kept teasing me verbally about all the things she wants to do to me on our next scheduled spanking session. I'm looking forward to Friday evening.
Earlier tonight, after I massaged her and licked her for over an hour, she slipped off her panties, grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into her cunt.
“Lick me, slaveboy,” she ground my nose and face into her furry pussy. A long time ago, she used to shave herself smooth there. Now, I am titillated by her hairiness, especially since it contrasts with her requirement that I remove all my pubic hair. At the time she made that rule, she told me that since it's her cock, she wants to see it naked all the time, that means no clothes for me without her permission and the constant shaving always reminds me that I am her toy.
I licked and licked and she groaned and her scent filled my nose and mouth. My cock was standing at attention the whole time. “Faster. That's good. Good boy...” after a few more minutes, she bucked and made an utterly maddening guttural noise that was sort of a combination shout and moan while the shudder of her orgasm spread out over her whole body.
“Put your cock inside me. Once it's there, just hold me. Don't hump. Don't move. Just fill me.”
I did as my Mistress ordered, sliding my hard cock inside her and then just staying still. Holding her. Pure torture. She slowly drifted off to sleep, then, and just before she actually fell asleep, she told me “You'll sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed tonight. Go and get me a glass of orange juice and pull the covers over me.”
I did as I was told, and after I pulled the covers over her, I decided to write a bit in this blog, to settle myself down and to think by writing. I hope that what I write here makes sense tonight.
Paradoxically, not being allowed to sleep with my Mistress, after the intimacy of massaging her, licking her, giving her an orgasm and even being allowed to be inside her for a few minutes (oh, such a sweet heavenly torture) only makes me want her more. She completely has my number. :-)
As I wrote earlier, I am really looking forward to the next punishment session. They are the only times that I am allowed to orgasm, and then, not every time. The randomness of the reward, linked always to the certainty of pain, keeps me on my best behavior between sessions.
Mistress has managed to train me to hold my orgasms till she gives the command, which means that on occasion she has used me as her live dildo for about ten minutes, orgasming herself around my hard cock, then ordering me to pull out and to start working on cleaning the bathroom. Again, on the occasions that she has done things like that, I am mentally gone, “dropped” into sub-space, completely hers to command. My frustration is completely overpowered by my awe and devotion.
When we first began our relationship, Mistress Laura kept a notebook in which she would record my infractions (not listening, giving her back-talk, not doing something to her specifications) and then she would administer a weekly spanking, meting out whatever she decided for each bad behavior.
After a few months of this, she changed the system. She told me that she was tired of the book-keeping and would now be giving out “demerits” and that I would need to keep track of how many demerits I had between spanking sessions. Then, on Friday nights, I was required to lay out all her implements of torture (spanking paddle, whips, canes, clothes pins) and kneel next to the bed till she came into the bedroom. She would then decide how many swats each “demerit” was worth and would give me the punishment accordingly.
It hurts to be punished. I'm not really a pain slut, but I have found that I actually crave being hurt by her now... I don't really want to be hurt by anybody else, but for her, especially when that look of lust and pleasure crosses her face, I want her to beat me till there are welts on my ass that I can feel for a week afterwards...
A recent piece that Mistress Laura added to the punishment sessions: the introduction of chance. She now has me keep track of the number of demerits, then, before starting the punishment, she has me cut a deck of cards and pick a card. That card represents the number of swats per demerit that I will get. Her rules are that Jokers are wild (meaning she gets to decide what they represent) and the Jacks are 11, Kings are 12 and Queens are worth 13.
As of today, I have earned 7 demerits. The last few were kind of stupid of me. I argued with my Mistress when I should not have and I will pay for it, I am certain.
I hope I pull a nice high numbered card on Friday. :-)
Earlier tonight, after I massaged her and licked her for over an hour, she slipped off her panties, grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into her cunt.
“Lick me, slaveboy,” she ground my nose and face into her furry pussy. A long time ago, she used to shave herself smooth there. Now, I am titillated by her hairiness, especially since it contrasts with her requirement that I remove all my pubic hair. At the time she made that rule, she told me that since it's her cock, she wants to see it naked all the time, that means no clothes for me without her permission and the constant shaving always reminds me that I am her toy.
I licked and licked and she groaned and her scent filled my nose and mouth. My cock was standing at attention the whole time. “Faster. That's good. Good boy...” after a few more minutes, she bucked and made an utterly maddening guttural noise that was sort of a combination shout and moan while the shudder of her orgasm spread out over her whole body.
“Put your cock inside me. Once it's there, just hold me. Don't hump. Don't move. Just fill me.”
I did as my Mistress ordered, sliding my hard cock inside her and then just staying still. Holding her. Pure torture. She slowly drifted off to sleep, then, and just before she actually fell asleep, she told me “You'll sleep on the floor at the foot of the bed tonight. Go and get me a glass of orange juice and pull the covers over me.”
I did as I was told, and after I pulled the covers over her, I decided to write a bit in this blog, to settle myself down and to think by writing. I hope that what I write here makes sense tonight.
Paradoxically, not being allowed to sleep with my Mistress, after the intimacy of massaging her, licking her, giving her an orgasm and even being allowed to be inside her for a few minutes (oh, such a sweet heavenly torture) only makes me want her more. She completely has my number. :-)
As I wrote earlier, I am really looking forward to the next punishment session. They are the only times that I am allowed to orgasm, and then, not every time. The randomness of the reward, linked always to the certainty of pain, keeps me on my best behavior between sessions.
Mistress has managed to train me to hold my orgasms till she gives the command, which means that on occasion she has used me as her live dildo for about ten minutes, orgasming herself around my hard cock, then ordering me to pull out and to start working on cleaning the bathroom. Again, on the occasions that she has done things like that, I am mentally gone, “dropped” into sub-space, completely hers to command. My frustration is completely overpowered by my awe and devotion.
When we first began our relationship, Mistress Laura kept a notebook in which she would record my infractions (not listening, giving her back-talk, not doing something to her specifications) and then she would administer a weekly spanking, meting out whatever she decided for each bad behavior.
After a few months of this, she changed the system. She told me that she was tired of the book-keeping and would now be giving out “demerits” and that I would need to keep track of how many demerits I had between spanking sessions. Then, on Friday nights, I was required to lay out all her implements of torture (spanking paddle, whips, canes, clothes pins) and kneel next to the bed till she came into the bedroom. She would then decide how many swats each “demerit” was worth and would give me the punishment accordingly.
It hurts to be punished. I'm not really a pain slut, but I have found that I actually crave being hurt by her now... I don't really want to be hurt by anybody else, but for her, especially when that look of lust and pleasure crosses her face, I want her to beat me till there are welts on my ass that I can feel for a week afterwards...
A recent piece that Mistress Laura added to the punishment sessions: the introduction of chance. She now has me keep track of the number of demerits, then, before starting the punishment, she has me cut a deck of cards and pick a card. That card represents the number of swats per demerit that I will get. Her rules are that Jokers are wild (meaning she gets to decide what they represent) and the Jacks are 11, Kings are 12 and Queens are worth 13.
As of today, I have earned 7 demerits. The last few were kind of stupid of me. I argued with my Mistress when I should not have and I will pay for it, I am certain.
I hope I pull a nice high numbered card on Friday. :-)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Musings on ownership and permanent markings
My Mistress has a rule for me that is deliciously lopsided.
I am required to wear my wedding ring while she will almost never wears hers. It's one of the ways that she reminds me that I am owned and that she is the boss. This morning, in the hustle and bustle of getting ready to chauffeur her to work on the way to my own job, I forgot to put her ring on.
Later in the day, when we were driving back home, she noticed that I was not wearing my “man collar” as she likes to call it. She teased me by saying in a mock exasperated voice “What, do you think you are a free boy now? Where is my ring, slaveboy? How can you forget to put your little man-collar on?”
Her teasing has the effect of going straight to my emotions and my loins. I was thrilled to be teased, at the same time as being embarrassed. Frankly, the worst thing in the world would have been if she had not noticed it or did not comment on it. I was not trying to be bad in any way, but once I noticed that I was not wearing the ring, I wanted her to notice it and control me and the situation. Does that make any sense?
In any case, the conversation meandered and at one point Mistress Laura says to me:
“You know... In about a year, if you are still my slaveboy, which I don't see why you wouldn't be... I'm going to put a tattoo on you. I'm not exactly sure what it would be, but I know I'm going to do it. Not this summer, but next summer.”
If I were not driving the car, I would have dropped to me knees and kissed her feet. That proclamation made my stomach drop and my vision get misty for a few seconds. I was happy, but I wasn't quite sure why. My breathing became ragged and she just chuckled.
Now, I reflect on what I was happy about... I hate needles. I don't really like tattoos. But even thinking about my dislikes makes me horny and weak in the knees. I like the fact that she knows that I hate needles and tattoos and she still wants to mark me in that way.
Of course, right now the idea is merely fantasy. Two summers from now is a long time away. But... I remember my Mistress's chuckle and I know that it's more than fantasy.
From my own experiences as the dominant in some relationships in the past, I know that some changes are nurtured slowly. When you want your submissive to do something for you that goes against their natural inclinations, you introduce the idea and link it to pleasing you. You play with it as an idea and tease them with it, and if you are successful at playing with the idea, by the time the actual deed is done, the submissive is practically begging the dominant to have it done.
I can see that starting to happen to me.
I am required to wear my wedding ring while she will almost never wears hers. It's one of the ways that she reminds me that I am owned and that she is the boss. This morning, in the hustle and bustle of getting ready to chauffeur her to work on the way to my own job, I forgot to put her ring on.
Later in the day, when we were driving back home, she noticed that I was not wearing my “man collar” as she likes to call it. She teased me by saying in a mock exasperated voice “What, do you think you are a free boy now? Where is my ring, slaveboy? How can you forget to put your little man-collar on?”
Her teasing has the effect of going straight to my emotions and my loins. I was thrilled to be teased, at the same time as being embarrassed. Frankly, the worst thing in the world would have been if she had not noticed it or did not comment on it. I was not trying to be bad in any way, but once I noticed that I was not wearing the ring, I wanted her to notice it and control me and the situation. Does that make any sense?
In any case, the conversation meandered and at one point Mistress Laura says to me:
“You know... In about a year, if you are still my slaveboy, which I don't see why you wouldn't be... I'm going to put a tattoo on you. I'm not exactly sure what it would be, but I know I'm going to do it. Not this summer, but next summer.”
If I were not driving the car, I would have dropped to me knees and kissed her feet. That proclamation made my stomach drop and my vision get misty for a few seconds. I was happy, but I wasn't quite sure why. My breathing became ragged and she just chuckled.
Now, I reflect on what I was happy about... I hate needles. I don't really like tattoos. But even thinking about my dislikes makes me horny and weak in the knees. I like the fact that she knows that I hate needles and tattoos and she still wants to mark me in that way.
Of course, right now the idea is merely fantasy. Two summers from now is a long time away. But... I remember my Mistress's chuckle and I know that it's more than fantasy.
From my own experiences as the dominant in some relationships in the past, I know that some changes are nurtured slowly. When you want your submissive to do something for you that goes against their natural inclinations, you introduce the idea and link it to pleasing you. You play with it as an idea and tease them with it, and if you are successful at playing with the idea, by the time the actual deed is done, the submissive is practically begging the dominant to have it done.
I can see that starting to happen to me.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Chris Rock on relationships
Oh man!!! This video of Chris Rock talking about relationships had me rolling on the floor in gut busting laughter. It is full of profanity, but I think there is wisdom here for any FemDom relationship. :-)
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Making slaveboys squat to poop may be good for their health. :-)
There have been a few times when Mistress has had me go potty outside, in the backyard, squatting naked in the grass.
The interesting thing is that I always felt perfectly comfortable and at peace, doing my business like that.
So, I was using Firefox's StumbleUpon plugin, and I ran into this: Squat, Don't Sit!
Amusing. What do you all think?
Best regards,
Thomas.
The interesting thing is that I always felt perfectly comfortable and at peace, doing my business like that.
So, I was using Firefox's StumbleUpon plugin, and I ran into this: Squat, Don't Sit!
Amusing. What do you all think?
Best regards,
Thomas.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Sublime torture
For the last few weeks, my Mistress has ramped up her everyday control of me by doing the following routine. When she is on her way home from work, she calls me on the cell phone.
“My boy, I want dinner ready on the table, with you naked, kneeling in the kitchen when I get home.”
Even though this is a frequent occurrence, I am always excited by kneeling naked for her. She gets home, strokes my head, sometimes leans down and kisses me, and sits down to eat. She always teases me about how eager my neglected cock is. How it looks so smooth and hairless, like a little boy's.
When she has had a few bites, she will let me join her and eat a little bit myself.
If she needs a drink, I get it for her. If she wants a foot rub, she tells me and I am supposed to stop immediately whatever it is I am doing and kneel down next to her to rub her feet.
When she is done with dinner, she will get up and tell me to follow her into her bedroom.
“Kneel there, slaveboy,” she points to the floor, next to her bed.
When I do, I am once again instantly at attention. She giggles at that; no matter how many times she has done this, my cock still springs to a full erection and I feel embarrassed by her laughing.
She will then sit on the edge of the bed, pull off her dress and slip off her panties, lay back and say to me something like: “Time for my little boy to kiss Mommy in her special place. Come on up, boy!”
I then get on the bed, put my face between her legs, and lick and kiss her pussy. The scent of her drives me mad. I know exactly how to kiss her. I know how to use my thumb and fingers to give her pleasure. Each time she has me do this, I get a little bit better and I am perfect at following her directions.
After about ten or fifteen minutes, she will come, often holding my hair and pushing my face into her pussy as she does so.
Then, she slowly gets up and has me lay on my back.
She will often grasp my hard hard cock, which is spewing precum, and smile, looking into my eyes.
“You did a good job, my boy. I suppose you would like a release too?”
“Yes, Mistress, but it's your choice.” at this point, I am panting and could probably orgasm if she just pumped my cock (her property) just a little bit with her hand.
“Yes, it is my choice. Not tonight. I don't want to give you an idea that this had anything to do with your pleasure.”
“Yes, Ma'am.” It's hard to describe, but at these moments, I am simultaneously unhappy for not being allowed any release and ecstatic about her control over me.
“Go clean up the kitchen and go about your housework.”
This routine has been going on now for about a month. I am practically going out of my mind with lust whenever she touches me. At the same time, I am much much quicker to jump whenever she orders me to do something.
Today (Sunday), she has set me the task of vaccuuming the whole house and doing all the laundry while she relaxes. I am so completely enthralled by her, so completely in heat and so completely hers to do with as she wishes.
“My boy, I want dinner ready on the table, with you naked, kneeling in the kitchen when I get home.”
Even though this is a frequent occurrence, I am always excited by kneeling naked for her. She gets home, strokes my head, sometimes leans down and kisses me, and sits down to eat. She always teases me about how eager my neglected cock is. How it looks so smooth and hairless, like a little boy's.
When she has had a few bites, she will let me join her and eat a little bit myself.
If she needs a drink, I get it for her. If she wants a foot rub, she tells me and I am supposed to stop immediately whatever it is I am doing and kneel down next to her to rub her feet.
When she is done with dinner, she will get up and tell me to follow her into her bedroom.
“Kneel there, slaveboy,” she points to the floor, next to her bed.
When I do, I am once again instantly at attention. She giggles at that; no matter how many times she has done this, my cock still springs to a full erection and I feel embarrassed by her laughing.
She will then sit on the edge of the bed, pull off her dress and slip off her panties, lay back and say to me something like: “Time for my little boy to kiss Mommy in her special place. Come on up, boy!”
I then get on the bed, put my face between her legs, and lick and kiss her pussy. The scent of her drives me mad. I know exactly how to kiss her. I know how to use my thumb and fingers to give her pleasure. Each time she has me do this, I get a little bit better and I am perfect at following her directions.
After about ten or fifteen minutes, she will come, often holding my hair and pushing my face into her pussy as she does so.
Then, she slowly gets up and has me lay on my back.
She will often grasp my hard hard cock, which is spewing precum, and smile, looking into my eyes.
“You did a good job, my boy. I suppose you would like a release too?”
“Yes, Mistress, but it's your choice.” at this point, I am panting and could probably orgasm if she just pumped my cock (her property) just a little bit with her hand.
“Yes, it is my choice. Not tonight. I don't want to give you an idea that this had anything to do with your pleasure.”
“Yes, Ma'am.” It's hard to describe, but at these moments, I am simultaneously unhappy for not being allowed any release and ecstatic about her control over me.
“Go clean up the kitchen and go about your housework.”
This routine has been going on now for about a month. I am practically going out of my mind with lust whenever she touches me. At the same time, I am much much quicker to jump whenever she orders me to do something.
Today (Sunday), she has set me the task of vaccuuming the whole house and doing all the laundry while she relaxes. I am so completely enthralled by her, so completely in heat and so completely hers to do with as she wishes.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
It's been a full year, what does my typical day look like?
It's been a year since Mistress Laura and I formalized our relationship.
I am amazed by how fast time has flown by.
I continue to do all the housework (vaccuming, laundry, pet care, etc). My cooking skills have only improved with time and practice. I still occasionally find it hard to say “Yes, Mistress”, but the weekly attitude adjustment sessions and her complete control of my sexual pleasure keep me in check and are constant visceral and quite erotic reminders for me that she is the boss and I am her servant.
A typical day these days for us goes like this:
I wake up around 5:30 AM, slipping out of bed as noiselessly as possible so that Mistress can remain asleep.
Next, I exercise. Every weekday, I do weights followed by varying intensities on the treadmill or elliptical; on the weekends I skip the weights and go for a longer and less intense cardio session (sometimes a run, sometimes a long walk, other times I bike).
After this, I take a quick rinse, dry off, then remain naked till Mistress wants me dressed, except for her leather collar which I wear whenever I am serving her.
Now, I start making breakfast for Mistress Laura. Most of the time, it's something warm (eggs, hash browns, etc). She usually tells me what she wants the night before. When breakfast is ready, I go back to the bedroom and put the plates on the side table and kneel on the floor by the side of the bed. Slowly and gently, I massage Mistress's feet till she wakes up and I serve her breakfast.
While she is eating, we chat. I am usually naked, kneeling or sitting on the floor and she is dressed in her night gown, sitting on the bed. More often than not, my cock is rock hard and my head swims in a mixture of adoration and lust. When she is finished with breakfast, she moves into her office and I make the bed. Sometimes I vaccuum the bedroom (it only takes a few minutes). I clean up the dishes and clean up the breakfast mess in the kitchen.
When it is time for me to go to work (having finished all my morning household chores), I go into her office and kneel behind her. Sometimes she leaves me like that for a few minutes while she keeps typing an email. When she does that, my cock gets even more turgid, since she is objectifying me and making sure I know that what she is doing is more important than paying attention to me. Finally, she turns around and asks me what I want. “May I go to work, Mistress?” Of course she says “Yes” but more often that not, she will tell me to kiss her feet first.
I kiss her feet and I retreat back to Her bedroom and start to get dressed and go to work.
My work day is fairly ordinary. Mistress herself works at a local college. She likes to occasionally keep track of what I am doing by IM. Most days, we talk for a minute or two on the phone during the day to check in. When I am at work, I run my meetings, manage our software projects, and occasionally I get to do some programming. When my work day is done, I happily leave for home.
When I get home, more often than not Mistress is still working. I strip and put on Mistress's collar, then I go around the house and do a little bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and start cooking dinner. When I cook dinner, I am required to wear the apron that Mistress picked out for me. It's red with just a bit of a frilly border. While dinner is cooking, I usually clean out the litter boxes and feed Mistress's dog.
Mistress arrives home to find me kneeling next to the kitchen table. The the dinner that she wanted is ready, the plates are set, and her soda is also set up exactly where she wants it. We greet each other and she lets me sit while we eat and talk.
After dinner, I clean up. Sometimes she sits at the kitchen table and watches and teases me while I clean dishes (I love that!); at other times, she goes back into her office and I go and kneel by her when I am done with cleanup.
Later in the evening, Mistress likes to watch TV. I sit at her feet while she sits in the comfortable easy-chair. I am in charge of the remote controls, but she is in charge of me. ;-)
When we are done with the TV, Mistress sends me ahead to turn down the bed and kneel by the side of the bed, waiting for her. It's usually a bit before midnight at this time. She sits at the edge of the bed and we do our usual ritual: I kiss her feet, then I massage them, putting hand-lotion on her feet. Sometimes she has me give her a backrub till she falls asleep. Sometimes (not often enough for my tastes!) she has me lick and kiss her and give her an orgasm.
This late night ritual only very rarely ends in sexual release for me, but I am ecstatically happy whenever I get to give her pleasure. My release has been linked much more to our weekly spanking and caning sessions and the occasional humiliation play that pushes Mistress's sadistic buttons.
At this point, if she feels like it, which is most of the time, Mistress tells me that I can sleep in the bed with her. Occasionally, she has me sleep on a doggy bed at the foot of the bed.
So, that's my usual routine. I hope you enjoyed this peek into this slaveboy's life.
Best regards,
Thomas.
I am amazed by how fast time has flown by.
I continue to do all the housework (vaccuming, laundry, pet care, etc). My cooking skills have only improved with time and practice. I still occasionally find it hard to say “Yes, Mistress”, but the weekly attitude adjustment sessions and her complete control of my sexual pleasure keep me in check and are constant visceral and quite erotic reminders for me that she is the boss and I am her servant.
A typical day these days for us goes like this:
I wake up around 5:30 AM, slipping out of bed as noiselessly as possible so that Mistress can remain asleep.
Next, I exercise. Every weekday, I do weights followed by varying intensities on the treadmill or elliptical; on the weekends I skip the weights and go for a longer and less intense cardio session (sometimes a run, sometimes a long walk, other times I bike).
After this, I take a quick rinse, dry off, then remain naked till Mistress wants me dressed, except for her leather collar which I wear whenever I am serving her.
Now, I start making breakfast for Mistress Laura. Most of the time, it's something warm (eggs, hash browns, etc). She usually tells me what she wants the night before. When breakfast is ready, I go back to the bedroom and put the plates on the side table and kneel on the floor by the side of the bed. Slowly and gently, I massage Mistress's feet till she wakes up and I serve her breakfast.
While she is eating, we chat. I am usually naked, kneeling or sitting on the floor and she is dressed in her night gown, sitting on the bed. More often than not, my cock is rock hard and my head swims in a mixture of adoration and lust. When she is finished with breakfast, she moves into her office and I make the bed. Sometimes I vaccuum the bedroom (it only takes a few minutes). I clean up the dishes and clean up the breakfast mess in the kitchen.
When it is time for me to go to work (having finished all my morning household chores), I go into her office and kneel behind her. Sometimes she leaves me like that for a few minutes while she keeps typing an email. When she does that, my cock gets even more turgid, since she is objectifying me and making sure I know that what she is doing is more important than paying attention to me. Finally, she turns around and asks me what I want. “May I go to work, Mistress?” Of course she says “Yes” but more often that not, she will tell me to kiss her feet first.
I kiss her feet and I retreat back to Her bedroom and start to get dressed and go to work.
My work day is fairly ordinary. Mistress herself works at a local college. She likes to occasionally keep track of what I am doing by IM. Most days, we talk for a minute or two on the phone during the day to check in. When I am at work, I run my meetings, manage our software projects, and occasionally I get to do some programming. When my work day is done, I happily leave for home.
When I get home, more often than not Mistress is still working. I strip and put on Mistress's collar, then I go around the house and do a little bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, and start cooking dinner. When I cook dinner, I am required to wear the apron that Mistress picked out for me. It's red with just a bit of a frilly border. While dinner is cooking, I usually clean out the litter boxes and feed Mistress's dog.
Mistress arrives home to find me kneeling next to the kitchen table. The the dinner that she wanted is ready, the plates are set, and her soda is also set up exactly where she wants it. We greet each other and she lets me sit while we eat and talk.
After dinner, I clean up. Sometimes she sits at the kitchen table and watches and teases me while I clean dishes (I love that!); at other times, she goes back into her office and I go and kneel by her when I am done with cleanup.
Later in the evening, Mistress likes to watch TV. I sit at her feet while she sits in the comfortable easy-chair. I am in charge of the remote controls, but she is in charge of me. ;-)
When we are done with the TV, Mistress sends me ahead to turn down the bed and kneel by the side of the bed, waiting for her. It's usually a bit before midnight at this time. She sits at the edge of the bed and we do our usual ritual: I kiss her feet, then I massage them, putting hand-lotion on her feet. Sometimes she has me give her a backrub till she falls asleep. Sometimes (not often enough for my tastes!) she has me lick and kiss her and give her an orgasm.
This late night ritual only very rarely ends in sexual release for me, but I am ecstatically happy whenever I get to give her pleasure. My release has been linked much more to our weekly spanking and caning sessions and the occasional humiliation play that pushes Mistress's sadistic buttons.
At this point, if she feels like it, which is most of the time, Mistress tells me that I can sleep in the bed with her. Occasionally, she has me sleep on a doggy bed at the foot of the bed.
So, that's my usual routine. I hope you enjoyed this peek into this slaveboy's life.
Best regards,
Thomas.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Whew... I'm back.
It's been a very hectic two months since my last post. Starting today, I'll be starting to write more regularly again. Probably a few short entries a week, then back to my usual daily notes and reflections.
In the last two months, we went through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's.
For me, it was all a blur, since I've been holding down my regular job, doing contracts on the side, increasing my exercise regime, enrolled in college courses, while continuing to serve my Mistress by doing the housework and attending to all her needs.
One of my major accomplishments during this time period where I disappeared from writing on my blog here has been that I went from being slightly overweight (at 175 pounds) to being athletically trim (at 145 pounds) by implementing the strategies that Saratoga pointed me to and sticking to that routine religiously. I have so much more energy now and I need to have that energy, to continue to do all the things I do!
I am now working on having six-pack abs, and it is very much within reach. Mistress really appreciates my newly hard body and I love her attention, of course. :-)
Anyways, I'll write more later.
Best regards,
Thomas.
In the last two months, we went through Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's.
For me, it was all a blur, since I've been holding down my regular job, doing contracts on the side, increasing my exercise regime, enrolled in college courses, while continuing to serve my Mistress by doing the housework and attending to all her needs.
One of my major accomplishments during this time period where I disappeared from writing on my blog here has been that I went from being slightly overweight (at 175 pounds) to being athletically trim (at 145 pounds) by implementing the strategies that Saratoga pointed me to and sticking to that routine religiously. I have so much more energy now and I need to have that energy, to continue to do all the things I do!
I am now working on having six-pack abs, and it is very much within reach. Mistress really appreciates my newly hard body and I love her attention, of course. :-)
Anyways, I'll write more later.
Best regards,
Thomas.
Monday, November 20, 2006
A quick update
It's been over two weeks since my last post, and some of you have wondered where I am.
It's that time of year, with the holidays looming, and with my Mistress working in academia, and my work in Silicon Valley, things have gotten very busy.
We are still having fun, but I've not had much time for blogging.
Between the housework, my day job, my new exercise regime and eating patterns, my beginning writing career, and the new short term contract which I just finished (whew!!) it's a wonder I even had time to sleep!
On a personal note, since starting a new more integrated exercise regime and eating many small meals, I have shed about 10 pounds. Thanks, Saratoga, for the info you pointed me to!
I haven't even read all the blogs I usually like to read in the last two weeks.
Anyhow, I'll write more later, when I can catch my breath.
Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Thomas.
It's that time of year, with the holidays looming, and with my Mistress working in academia, and my work in Silicon Valley, things have gotten very busy.
We are still having fun, but I've not had much time for blogging.
Between the housework, my day job, my new exercise regime and eating patterns, my beginning writing career, and the new short term contract which I just finished (whew!!) it's a wonder I even had time to sleep!
On a personal note, since starting a new more integrated exercise regime and eating many small meals, I have shed about 10 pounds. Thanks, Saratoga, for the info you pointed me to!
I haven't even read all the blogs I usually like to read in the last two weeks.
Anyhow, I'll write more later, when I can catch my breath.
Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Thomas.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Post-play orneriness as an emotional defense
On Wednesday night, Mistress had me pleasure her with an all-over body massage which turned into a couple hour long play session. In the middle of it all, she consistently teased me and forced me to come to the edge, while saying “No. You may not.” to every single request of mine to orgasm.
She herself took her sweet time, and took her pleasure completely. She came three times, using my tongue, my hands, and toys.
By the end, I was floating on a sea of love and closeness intermixed with lust and surrender. I wanted to do anything for her and I felt very close to her.
Over the next few hours and into the next day or two (into part of today), I kept engaging in stupid nit-picky verbal struggles with Mistress Laura. Finally, she asked me today:
“What is up? Why are you more argumentative than usual?”
I thought for a long time and I replied:
“Every once in a while, when I feel overwhelmed by the feeling of being close to you, I want to cry, and instead, I think I look for anything that can distract you and me. So I nit-pick and get defensive about things.” I swallowed hard.
“Oh. You don't need to do that anymore. I'm not going to reject you. You can feel free to feel close to me.”
I want to cry with joy.
She herself took her sweet time, and took her pleasure completely. She came three times, using my tongue, my hands, and toys.
By the end, I was floating on a sea of love and closeness intermixed with lust and surrender. I wanted to do anything for her and I felt very close to her.
Over the next few hours and into the next day or two (into part of today), I kept engaging in stupid nit-picky verbal struggles with Mistress Laura. Finally, she asked me today:
“What is up? Why are you more argumentative than usual?”
I thought for a long time and I replied:
“Every once in a while, when I feel overwhelmed by the feeling of being close to you, I want to cry, and instead, I think I look for anything that can distract you and me. So I nit-pick and get defensive about things.” I swallowed hard.
“Oh. You don't need to do that anymore. I'm not going to reject you. You can feel free to feel close to me.”
I want to cry with joy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)